12 Signs You Might Be Kinkier Than You Thought

It’s the question on everyone’s lips: How kinky am I? Kink isn’t all about whips and chains. And just because you don’t have a cupboard full of bondage gear doesn’t mean you aren’t a bit kinky inside.

Sexuality isn’t about labels. The term kinky in a sexual sense only means “unusual” or “out of the ordinary”. As a result, it’s not really possible to define one person as kinky and another as not.

However, it’s useful and fun to know whether the things you enjoy in the bedroom veer away from vanilla because you never know what you could discover if you follow those adventures all the way…

Have you been wondering How kinky am I? Here’s a kinky checklist with 12 signs that you’re probably less vanilla than you think.

Pink graphic of sex toys and handcuffs

How vanilla are you, really? 12 signs you’re a secret kinkster

1. You’ve used toys during sex

Sure, sex toys are becoming mainstream (thank goodness!), but you’d be surprised how many people have never owned one.

Does your vibrator, dildo, or anal plug get a lot of show time? How kinky am I? You’re more adventurous than you think….

2. You’ve bitten your lover’s neck or body

Sexual biting is related to the oh-so-classic hickey. If you enjoy being bitten or biting your lover during sexual play, you might have a thing for pain, power play, or primal play.

Backside of woman in BDSM gear with red lighting

3. You enjoy a slap on the ass…

Spanking has become second nature to many sex-positive people, but in some communities, it’s considered taboo, and it’s still a classic part of BDSM play.

Enjoy a soft spanking? Take it to the next level with a spanking toy like a whip or flogger.

4. …and having your hair pulled

What makes hair-pulling so hot? If you enjoy a hair tug in a moment of passion, there might be a naughty side of you that wants this dominant action to go further.

5. You’ve got a thing for choking

Does having your lover’s hand gently cup your throat in the heat of things turn you on? Choking is a go-to move during BDSM play as it lets you experience dominance, submission, and breathplay.

Erotic BDSM toys with laptop

Remember that anything involving breathplay, pain, or BDSM should be fully discussed beforehand and safewords and signals established.

6. You ask your lover to call you degrading names…

…or you get a thrill out of consensually calling your lover degrading or humiliating names, like My little slut, Good little sex toy. Or, opposingly, names that indicate power and authority, like Mistress or Daddy.

How kinky am I? You’re definitely on your way…

7. You’re curious about being thrown around and tied up

If the idea of handing over control of your body to your lover during sex appeals to you, whether that’s with handcuffs, other restraints, or another kind of physical domination, it’s likely you get a kick out of the dominance and submission of BDSM.

Couple hugging with sex toy at home

8. You’ve had sex outside or somewhere you could get caught

Ever had sex in a club bathroom? A restaurant restroom? Close to a window? You might have an exhibitionist streak that could be indulged further…

9. You enjoy having something in your mouth while being penetrated

Enjoying this could signal a desire for double penetration, group sex, or a kink for being physically dominated and overwhelmed, whether that's a finger, a mouth gag, or a hand over your mouth.

Still wondering Am I kinky? Picture a threesome… does it sound good?

Woman kneeling in pink latex bodysuit

10. You’ve taken erotic photos or videos of yourself

Does it arouse you to send sexy or even explicit photos and videos to your lover? Do you like the idea of recording yourself during sex? Welcome to the kinky side!

Similarly, if you enjoy watching people have sex, there might be a bit of the voyeur in you.

11. You like pretending to be someone else during sex…

…or your partner pretending to be someone else, like a hot stranger, an angry boss, someone from fanfiction, cosplay, or just someone who misbehaves and must be punished?

Guess what: Are you kinky? Probably. And there’s a whole world of sexy role-play ideas to try!

12. You’ve given your lover commands during sex

Or enjoyed receiving commands such as Get on your knees, Bend over, or Don’t stop till I cum. This kind of dirty talk is a hot way to introduce power play into the bedroom. And if you like this, you might like taking this dynamic even further.

Whip rope bondage accessories

This list is just the tip of the iceberg. There are hundreds of kinks and fetishes out there - just check our ultimate kink A to Z. If anything in this list gives you a tinge of excitement, and if you’ve ever wondered Am I kinky? then you probably are.