Learn about 'The Lifestyle' with These Swinger Terms

What does full swap mean? How do real swingers live, play, communicate, and set rules for their relationship? What swinger terms do people use to keep their sex lives sexy and discreet?

Learning swinger code words will help you understand what really goes on behind the curtain, as well as get to know a community that is talked about but not understood.

If you’re new to or curious about swinging solo or with your partner, learning swinger terms and meanings will help you on your journey of discovery.

Before diving into the fascinating world of swinger vocab, don’t forget to check out our previous article on what a swinger is and how “the lifestyle” works.

Understanding Swinger Lifestyle Lingo: 24 Commonly Used Terms

Bull

A male who joins a couple for sex. This is the male version of the more commonly used term “unicorn.” Often just called single men, but occasionally referred to as bulls.

Full swap

This swinger code word refers to a consenting partner trade that includes penetrative sex. So, most commonly, two couples arrange to meet and have sex with each other’s partners. In this case, they agree that penetrative sex is possible for everyone.

Hall pass

Taken from school lingo, a hall pass is a permission slip your partner can give you, giving their consent to you engaging in solo sexual activities with others for the night (or another agreed-upon time).

Hard swap

Another term for “full swap,” described above. Consenting adult partners trade places for a passionate night with each other’s partners.

Host

The host is, well, the host. They bring together swingers in their communities under one roof. They generally provide the space and are responsible for organizing the events, as well as deciding who is allowed to join and how to make guests feel as safe and comfortable as possible.

Hotwife

The hotwife has now entered popular culture as a sort of joke, but she’s a desirable figure in the swinger community. She enjoys indulging in extramarital fun, and her partner loves every second of it.

Indoor sports

The swinger code word for sexual swinging activities. Do you and your wife want to join us for an evening of indoor sports? You get the picture.

MFM

This is a commonly used shorthand to describe a Male-Female-Male threesome, usually with two straight-leaning men and one woman at the centre of attention. Unsurprisingly, other setups include MMF, FFM, FFF, MFFM, MF4MF (couple meets couple)... It can go on in whatever formation you choose.

These acronyms are used to describe the genders of people having or seeking group sex, but they don’t mean gender queer people aren’t swinging (they definitely are). Just that the lingo hasn’t caught up yet.

Newbies

Newbies is a swinger term for fresh-faced couples (or singles) entering the swinger scene for the first time. Eager to learn, set their boundaries, and discover what they enjoy, together and apart.

No-kissing rule

For some couples, kissing is an intimacy step too far. The no-kissing rule is a boundary set in place by couples or during an encounter to indicate that kissing is not allowed, full stop.

Orgy

Group sex that involves several women, men, or differently gendered people in the same room or location, with everyone taking part.

Parallel play

Sometimes it’s extra hot to look but not touch. This swinger term describes couples engaging in sexual play with their respective partners, separate from, but next to, another couple.

Enjoying the show and the shared sexual energy, but not swapping.

Play party

A form of sex party hosted at an organiser’s private home or swingers club for the purposes of gathering like-minded swingers for recreational sex in a non-judgmental, clean, and comfortable place, with established rules for safety and respect.

Reclamation sex

This is the urgent, passionate sex you have with your partner after you’ve been swinging and watched them play all night with someone else.

Soft swap

The tamer version of a hard or full swap. Consentual couples meet up and engage in sexual activities with each other’s partners in ways that exclude penetrative, which can include kissing, touching, some forms of oral sex or sensual pleasure.

Solo date

Solo date is the term for one swinger heading into a night of sexual opportunity and connection at a swingers gathering without the company of their partner.

SRNS (Same Room No Swap)

Like parallel play, SRNS means enjoying sexual play with your partner in the same room or shared space as other couples. A perfect way to dip your toes into the scene.

Stag/vixen

The stag/vixen couple is similar to the hotwife and partner, but the stag is more actively involved in encouraging his partner to play and enjoys watching her adventure and sexual pleasure.

Swinging

The thrilling activity of consensually swapping partners, engaging in varying forms of sexual activity with other couples, to explore new sexual dynamics together and apart.

The lifestyle

The blanket swinger term given to people who make swinging part of their lifestyle. For most people, swinging isn’t something they do occasionally but a whole way of life and a belief system that emphasises openness and respect in consensual non-monogamy, honest communication, and sexual exploration.

The regulars

Regulars are swinging scene VIPs. They are couples who are long-standing attendees of swinger events and gatherings, and an important part of their local swinger community.

Unicorn

The much-desired and discussed gem of the non-monogamy world. A unicorn is a single female open to sexual activity with both members of a couple (ideally, together).

Unicorn hunting

Swinging lifestyle lingo that describes a couple’s hunt for a single female to join them in bed (or at the swingers party).

Upside-down pineapple

Been seeing upside pineapples on front doors, t-shirts, or at the supermarket? This symbol is the secret sign that says “we swing.” When you know, you know.

Vetting

This is the act of discerning between sincere swingers and fakes. Trust is paramount when it comes to swinging, and strangers can’t be invited in without having their intentions and motivations properly evaluated. Vetting new additions ensures compatibility and mutual respect at swingers gatherings.

This introduction to swinger lifestyle lingo and language should have given you a beginner’s insight into the sexy and respectful world of swinging, where rules are as important as freedom and fun.

If words peak your interest (or turn you on), don’t forget to read our articles on polyamory definitions, sex vs gender identity terms, and beginner’s kink, fetish, and BDSM terms.

Happy playing!