10 Ways to Explore Temperature, Ice, and Wax Play

In the kinky universe, ice and wax play are types of temperature play. Why would someone want to use freezing cold ice or extremely hot wax during sex? Here are 10 ways you can use temperature to improve your sex life - and why you really want to.

It might sound complicated. But you don’t need anything that’s not already in your kitchen to get started!

What is temperature play?

Temperature play is a BDSM practice and type of sensation play. It involves applying heat or cold to the body to stimulate the senses, provoke arousal, and enhance sexual pleasure.

Heat or cold can be used on the body using objects or substances. Ice and wax are famous examples of substances used for this kind of play.

As with many BDSM practices and kinks, temperature play, ice sex, and wax play can range from the mild to the extreme - and dangerous!

Who knows? You might start with cold shower sex, and find yourself exploring cupping, streaking, or fire play by the weekend.

Woman with an ice cube dripping down her stomach

What’s so great about it?

As all wax play-experts know, exploring temperature during sex is a total thrill.

Remember what it’s like to go straight from the scolding hot tub to the freezing cold plunge pool at your favorite spa? The shock to your skin and system makes you feel energized, excited, and like your body is tingling.

Now, imagine combining this intense physical sensation with sex. It’s a sensory overload.

Temperature, ice, and wax play heighten nerve sensitivity

The first pleasure of sensory play comes from the waiting game. You’ll get a psychological thrill from knowing something is about to shock your skin, but not knowing when.

This tension puts your nerve endings on high alert, making you mentally as well as physically excited. In this state, every touch you experience is magnified.

Physically, the feeling of hot and cold sensations on body parts provokes our skin’s neuroreceptors. This gives us a pleasurable, tingly rush. When accompanied by foreplay and other sexy fun, this feeling increases arousal and sexual pleasure.

Two love hearts with candles in a heart shape behind them

10 ways to add temperature play to your sex life

1. Ice sex: The classic ice cube drip

If you’re trying temperature or ice sex for the first time, start simple. Get a bowl of ice cubes next to the bed. Pick one up (consider using a cloth to avoid freezing fingers) and drip the icy water across your lover’s body.

For maximum pleasure, focus on their sensitive areas and erogenous zones. Try starting at their lips and head downwards, getting their neck and nipples before trailing down their stomach towards their genitals.

2. Cool down or heat up your sex toys

This is one for your masturbation time or for use with a partner. Get your favorite sex toy (dildo, butt plug, cock ring…) and either leave it in the freezer for 10 or so minutes or dip it in warm/hot water, then use it as normal. Ice sex toys!

You can try this with homemade sex toys and homemade sex toys for men as well!

Test it elsewhere on your skin before using it on/in your private parts - you don’t want any kind of burn down there.

Purple rabbit dildo female sex toy

This is most effective with glass or stainless steel toys, but it will work with silicone too.

3. Hot and cold foods

Hungry? Horny? We’ve got a solution for you!

Using food for sensation play simply means heating it up or cooling it down, before applying it to or placing it on your partner’s body. And, of course, eating it off.

You could start with the classic whipped cream around the nipples. Or go further with hot melted chocolate, edible oils, or an aphrodisiac. Start licking and see where it takes you…

4. Buy cooling, heating, or tingling lube

These lubes are widely available and do what they say on the tin: they make your private parts cool, warm, or tingly. Use them like you would your normal lube and enjoy the increased sensation.

Alternatively, instead of keeping your normal lube in your drawer, keep it in the fridge!

5. Ice sex: Put a cube in your mouth and trace it across their body

You can alternate between holding it in your mouth, holding it between your teeth, and fully resting it on their skin.

Close up of a woman applying ice to her face

Trace the cube up, down, and around their body. The coldness across their body will be thrilling. You tracing your mouth across their body will be more so.

6. Temperature play for amazing oral sex

This involves cooling down or heating up your mouth before giving your partner head.

For amazing oral ice sex, hold a cube in your mouth, quickly spit it out, then go down on your partner. Alternatively, hold a sip of a hot drink in your mouth for a few seconds, then do the same thing. You’ll be a cunnilingus or blowjob genius before you know it.

Remember not to use sugary drinks, as sugar isn’t good for the genitals, especially the vulva.

7. Use a massage candle

Massage candles are designed for sensual play. They smell good and burn at a lower temperature than regular candles. You can drip the wax on your partner’s body, or use the hot oil they produce for a hot (in both ways) massage.

8. Add other kinds of sensation play and sensory deprivation

As this practice is all about heightening the senses in order to experience more pleasure, combining temperature play with other sensory play will make it all the more intense.

While playing with temperature, try blindfolding your partner. Or incorporate extra sensation, like stroking them with a feather, biting their skin, or using a toy, such as a nipple clamp.

Masseur drips candle wax onto the back of a person

9. Hot wax play - for experts only

Hot wax play is a popular kinky practice among BDSM-ers who particularly enjoy sadomasochism. It involves dripping very hot wax onto a partner’s body. The intense heat equals an intense thrill.

But be careful. When the wax is this hot, someone could easily get burned. We recommend using candles specifically designed for wax play as they have safer melting points.

Remember that dropping the wax from higher up will make it cooler when it reaches the skin.

10. Combine hot and cold

Why stop at just one? Combine extreme heat with extreme cold for the ultimate sensation explosion.

When the warm wax is still fresh on your lover’s skin, quickly drip some icy water on them. You can also drip both hot wax and cold water on their skin at the same time.

Make one finger hot and the other cold and then give your partner a handjob or a unique fingering experience. When giving oral sex, you can alternate between lightly rubbing an ice cube on your partner’s genitals with stimulation from the warmth of your mouth.

Romantic couple in the bath at home

Temperature, ice, and wax play: Give your lover a tingly treat

As always, make sure you explore heat, cold, and especially wax play safely. Have a discussion on boundaries, desires, and safewords before you start.

Temperature play is one of the simplest and most exciting ways to improve foreplay. And to add something different to a sex life that could use some spicing up.

Now, is it us, or is it getting hot in here?