What Makes the Consensual Degradation Kink So Sexy?

For some people, being embarrassed is the stuff of nightmares (caught naked in public? No thanks). For others, it’s a total turn-on and a big part of their sex life. So what’s the degradation kink all about?

Considering that degradation is widely seen as an unpleasant experience, erotic BDSM humiliation is a surprisingly popular kinky pastime, with many people engaging in consensual activities such as SPH (small penis humiliation), erotic spanking, and taboo dirty talk with lovers on a regular basis.

Female black heel stepping on man's chest

What is the degradation kink?

A degradation kink, also called a humiliation kink or fetish, or humiliation play refers to the consensual use of humiliation (such as ridicule and mocking) in a sexual context for sexual pleasure. It’s a form of sexual role play with a psychological element and is only possible with enthusiastic consent from everyone involved.

Someone with this kink will, if they’re the submissive (or bottom), get arousal and pleasure from feeling the emotion of humiliation, or, if they’re dominant, from consensually causing someone to feel this emotion.

It’s a part of BDSM because it’s a form of consensual sadomasochism. The sub derives pleasure from experiencing their own pain in a safe space, while the dom derives pleasure from inflicting pain, thereby pleasure, on someone else.

What makes embarrassment so arousing?

This is the most-asked question about the degradation kink. The truth is that each person will have a different answer. However, there are some common reasons why this surprising kink has such prevailing appeal.

Neon sign hands making sh sign over lips

First of all, it’s taboo. For many people, the simple fact of something being deemed wrong or naughty makes it irresistibly sexy.

For others, the humiliation kink is exciting because it’s about the thrill of extreme emotion. Think about how powerful some negative emotions are, like jealousy, or the fear and shock you get while riding a rollercoaster. They make your heart race and set your body on fire.

For some BDSM humiliation kinksters, the extreme emotion incited by experiencing embarrassment is an unbelievable thrill when channeled in a safe and sexy context.

For people who enjoy being submissive, consensual degradation is a way of freeing themselves of responsibility and handing over power to someone else.

Sensual couple foreplay near brick wall

And for people who carry any kind of sexual shame, erotic humiliation can be a way of reclaiming parts of their sexuality they may have been previously shamed for.

For example, if someone has been called misogynistic or homophobic terms in the past, using and getting pleasure from these during sexual play can completely transform what they mean to you.

Consensual erotic humiliation can be experienced in many forms

Acts of embarrassment can happen in person, in public, long-distance, physically, verbally… it doesn’t matter and there is no formula. The only requirement is that the acts incite feelings of humiliation or embarrassment in the submissive person with the kink.

What makes someone feel embarrassed and the extent to which they want to feel this emotion is totally up to them.

There are endless possibilities for the ways the humiliation kink can be enjoyed, but here are some common examples.

Woman in BDSM lingerie in handcuffs on chair


Verbal degradation is very common and easy to practice. It can involve consensual verbal mocking like calling someone names or saying things to make them feel arousingly belittled.


This can be any kind of physical activity that will make the sub feel pleasantly degraded, such as spitting or spanking.


Public embarrassment involves the sub being “forced” (always consensually) to do something embarrassing in public or around other people. Cuckolding can be seen as an example of this.

Body mocking

This is a very popular form of the degradation kink that involves the dom mocking parts of the sub’s body or genitalia. As we all know, no one needs to be embarrassed about their body shape or size, but for some people, this kind of role play gets them off.

Woman looking shocked between man's legs in bed

Begging, servitude, body worship

These refer to any kinds of degradation kink role plays in which the sub is told to do tasks, such as having to beg for something (to orgasm, for example), kiss their dom’s feet, sissification (though, of course, acting feminine is nothing to be embarrassed about) or generally act as the dom’s slave.

Consent and safety

As with any BDSM activity, enthusiastic consent, safety, and communication are completely essential, and no activity should take place without these.

A humiliation kink is a form of edge play because, when practiced incorrectly, it has the potential to cross boundaries and cause emotional or physical distress.

That’s why it’s essential to talk openly beforehand about boundaries, triggers, and safewords, and agree on exactly what kind of embarrassment you both want. Remember that you can stop at any time, to frequently check in with each other throughout play, and practice meaningful aftercare.

Romantic couple kissing on sofa

Start exploring consensual erotic degradation

There are a few things to bear in mind when starting to explore BDSM humiliation or kinky degradation, regardless of whether you’re the dom or sub (top or bottom).

It’s essential to know that your desire for humiliation/to humiliate is coming from a place of sexual pleasure and respect for yourself and your partner. This kind of play can only happen when both people know it is just role play and that one partner is not actually inferior to the other.

If you’re curious about the thrilling feeling of sexy degradation, take time to consider what specific type of embarrassment you might be into. There are many kinds and your brain will tick in its own way.

What kind of dom do you want your partner to be? Caring or utterly scathing? Look at the above examples and start small by experimenting with online humiliation from expert Pantydeal sellers.

Woman in lingerie on webcam

If you’re curious about being the dominant partner doing the degrading, think about how comfortable you are acting the part of someone cruel and saying/doing consensually degrading things to your partner.

Where do your skills lie? Are you good at sarcastic wordplay, or more turned on by the idea of someone worshipping at your feet?

However you decide to delve into your humiliation kink, remember that it’s all about pleasure. Play safe or go home, and always have fun.