What is Cuckolding and What’s So Sexy About it?

Modern-day cuckolding is far different from what it used to be. It’s an incredibly popular kink. Just take a look at your favorite porn site! So, what is cuckolding and what’s so sexy about being a cuck?

What is cuckolding?

Cuckolding is a kink in which someone gets sexual pleasure from consensually watching their partner have sex with someone else.

What is a cuck? The traditional perception of a cuckold was of a man who had an adulterous wife. It used to be a derogatory term, but that’s outdated. It means something entirely different these days and is a kink that can be enjoyed by couples of any gender and sexuality.

Cuckolding is a form of consensual non-monogamy that is taboo in nature but increasingly popular.

Woman touching boyfriend's chin with horns

Terminology: Cuck, cuckold, cuckolding?

What is a cuck? A cuck, cuckold, or sometimes cuckquean is the person who watches their partner have sex with someone else.

In the modern kinky sense, the verb to be cucked or cuckolded refers to the act of someone watching their partner have sex with someone else.

The term cuckoldress is often used to define the partner who has sex with a third party. Despite the traditional terminology, this doesn’t have to be a woman.

Bull is the word used to describe the third party who comes in to have sex.

The term cuckold comes, amusingly, from the word “cuckoo” because a cuckoo was known to lay its eggs in another bird’s nest to get its chick raised by someone else.

What’s so sexy about being cucked?

If it’s the first time you’ve heard of cuckolding you might be thinking that watching your partner sleep with someone else would be your worst nightmare. What is cuckolding and why would anyone do it?


Firstly, cuckolding is linked to BDSM, specifically erotic humiliation, masochism, and submission.

Woman in fetish gear holding handcuffs

If someone is into any of these three things, it’s likely they’ll get pleasure from the painful feelings of jealousy, submission, and humiliation of watching their partner with someone else - even when it’s consensual (which it has to be for the kink to be properly enjoyed).

Sexual jealousy

Sexual jealousy can be intense, and it can also be powerfully arousing. Watching your partner with someone else can be incredibly exciting and get you both fired up and desperate for each other.

Plus, let’s not forget that just watching your partner, who is someone you find sexually attractive, naked and having sex, will be an arousing image.

Some modern research suggests evolutionary biology could be behind the link between sexual jealousy and arousal in penis-owners: you get turned on so that your sperm can beat your competitors for fertilization.


Many polyamorous people are familiar with compersion.

Compersion is like the opposite of jealousy and erotic humiliation. It refers to the happy feeling you get from seeing your partner happy and sexually satisfied by someone else.

If you’re someone who experiences compersion, you’ll get joy and pleasure from being cuckolded because your partner is having a good time.

Sensual couple in bed in morning

The taboo

What is cuckolding? It’s naughty.

The taboo is a turn-on for a lot of people. Because we live in a mostly monogamous society, watching your partner with someone else can feel forbidden and sexy.

What’s so sexy about doing the cuckolding?

Obviously, you get to have sex with someone else, which is pleasurable and something new and different.

Your sex life gets better

Most couples who enjoy cuckolding report an improvement in their sex life. It adds a new exciting sexual and psychological dimension and your desire for each other increases.


If you’re into domination and get a thrill from your partner being consensually humiliated and submissive, you’ll love the feeling of them watching you go at it with someone else.

Emotional connection

Perhaps surprisingly, kinky cuckolding and cuckold humiliation can bring couples emotionally closer. Partners who explore fetish and boundary-pushing practices tend to communicate better because they’re being vulnerable and sharing deeply private and taboo desires.

Man crawling across bed to woman holding bra

How to explore cuckolding

Communication and consent

As with any kinky BDSM practice that has the potential to cross boundaries, communication beforehand is essential. You are your partner should discuss desires, fears, boundaries, safewords, a plan, and possible things that could go wrong - like jealousy and insecurity.

You should also communicate clearly and openly with your “bull”. You can’t get an unsuspecting person in to fulfill your fantasy without their consent.

No one should be or feel persuaded into doing anything they don’t actively want to.

Start small then build-up

If you’re curious about being a cuckold and you’ve spoken about it with your partner, start small by asking them to tell you about them having sex with someone else - a past lover, or even someone they make up.

Woman leaning elbows on two men

How does it make you feel? Jealous and uncomfortable or turned on?

You can watch them flirt with, dance, or kiss someone while at a party together - with everyone’s enthusiastic consent of course.

Your partner could go on a date with someone and tell you every detail about it the next day. You could even buy them underwear for it!

If you’re ready, you can find an eager bull and watch them have sex or do other kinky stuff in real life at home or at a sex party. You could also watch them via video chat or get sexy messages from them both while it’s happening.

If you all want to go a step further, you could get a bit more involved in the action. Perhaps by consensual filming, directing the action, joining in with physical dirty talk, getting physically involved with their play, or adding an element of sexy male chastity.

Sensual couple with hand on face on pink background

What is cuckolding? A sexy kink for adventurous folk.

If this all sounds too mad for you, then cuckolding probably isn’t your kink.

But if you’re feeling fired up by our suggestions, why not discuss it with your partner and enter a new realm of your sex life.