So, Does Size Matter?

Most men have looked down and wondered… Does size matter? Am I big enough? Is there an ideal penis size? 

We’re here to tell you that these worries are shared by most people with penises and that most of the time, they’re totally unnecessary. There’s more to life (and sex) than having a big penis. Way more.

Banana wrapped in blue measuring tape

Bigger hasn’t always been better

Does size matter? It did in Ancient Greece.

Did you know that the Ancient Greeks celebrated small penises? In fact, in some popular plays, men’s penises were forced to grow larger as a form of punishment.

Small was also the ideal penis size for the Romans. A preference for small over large packages continued through the Roman Empire and the Renaissance. Just look at Michelangelo’s David!

But then modern media, specifically, porn, came along. And it brought with it an obsession with plus-sized junk. If you have a penis and you sleep with women, don’t look to porn to learn what penis size women prefer. Instead, keep reading.

The (non-existent) connection between penis size and masculinity

From a young age, boys compare penises in the schoolyard. As they get older, they watch unrealistic porn and think that’s how penises (and sex) are supposed to be.

We can’t be certain why the porn industry almost exclusively portrays ginormous junk. And there are many different, mostly unfounded, reasons why, as a culture, we think big penises are something to show off and something that makes you ‘more of a man’.

But we do know that if you have a penis, you’ve probably been aware since adolescence how it ‘measures up’. Penises are the yardstick by which many men measure their masculinity, virility, attractiveness, and abilities as a lover.

Green phallic fruit and vegetables on white table

But guess what? Penis size does not impact these things in any real way. So why are we still so obsessed with penis size? Why can’t we get enough of penis facts? And how can we turn our attention to more important things?

If you think you’re small, you’re probably not

The average flaccid penis is around 3.5 inches long. And the average erect penis is around 5.2 inches long and around 4.6 inches round (girth).

Unsurprisingly, from growing up in a society that reveres big penises, many men worry about being ‘too small’. However, far more men have this worry than there are men who are below average. This means that if you’re worried about being small, there’s a high chance that you’re not.

And take note of this: the penises you see in porn are a lot bigger than the average penis size. And a lot bigger than what any woman needs to be satisfied (seriously, ask them).

Women don’t care about size nearly as much as men think they do

When penis-owners wonder Does size matter? what they’re really asking is Do I have to be well-endowed to satisfy my lover? There’s a simple answer: No.

Penis shaped pasta on pink background

In heterosexual relationships, what penis size do women prefer? Everyone has different preferences. That means that yes, a big penis will be important to some women.

However, the majority of women or people with vulvas don’t care about penis size nearly as much as men think they do.

What’s the ideal size? Everyone you sleep with will have a different opinion.

Sex isn’t all about penis-in-vagina penetration

Despite what mainstream representations show us, hetero sex is about more than P in V penetration. In fact, most people with vulvas can’t orgasm from penetration alone.

Good sex isn’t about thrusting. It’s about foreplay, touch, connection, and so many other things.

Does size matter? Let’s just say this. If you’ve got a big package but don’t know how to find her erogenous zones or touch her breasts, she probably won’t leave satisfied.

You don’t have to go deep to hit her pleasure spots

Despite what you may believe, it doesn’t always feel good for a woman to be penetrated really deep and really hard. In fact, this can be painful.

Happy couple playing in bed

The vaginal contains lots of nerve endings and pleasure ‘zones’, the majority of which are on the outer third of the vagina. This means that a smaller penis can easily reach and stimulate these areas and give a lot of penetrative pleasure.

Plus, the ultra-sensitive G-spot is located just 2-3 inches from the vagina opening. You can reach this with your finger! Remember that the clit is the most pleasurable part of the vulva for many women. In fact, many women can’t climax without clit stimulation. Is a big penis important for stimulating the clit? Definitely not.

Women care more about sensation than size

Did you know that smaller and average size dildos sell more than large dildos? This alone suggests that the ideal penis size is smaller than most men think. And did you know that clit stimulating toys are always amongst the highest-selling?

Have you noticed how much range there is when it comes to sex toys for vulvas? There are toys designed to hit every different pleasure zone in a different way.

What penis size do women prefer? It doesn’t really matter. Clearly, when it comes to sexual pleasure, women care more about the sensation a toy will give them than how much it will ‘fill them up’.

Satisfying woman looking at man's crotch

Does size matter? Sure, but other things matter more

So, does size matter? Sure, women generally want to avoid asking Is it in yet? However, when it comes to having good sex, so many other things are more important than size.

It’s not about having the ideal penis size… it’s about what you do with it. And with the rest of your body! Good sex is about a combination of things. And, of course, everyone has individual tastes.

But overall, the things women or people with vulvas value in the bedroom are what a lover can do with their fingers, tongue, and lips. Technique.

Whether they know what to do with their penis (if they have one) - we’re talking angles, positions, movements, speed… Being affectionate and intimate. Sexual communication. Confidence and attitude.

Do you know how to be dominant or submissive if she asks for it? Do you know how to use toys to pleasure her? Are you taking your time and listening to her? Are you making her feel sexy?

These things are far more important than penis size. Someone could be packing a 9-inch whopper, but if they think this is all it takes to give their partner pleasure, they’re not a good lover.

The girth vs length debate

When we discuss the question Does size matter? we generally mean penis length. Now let’s pose a more important question. What about girth?

Man holding tape measure over crotch

Girth refers to the circumference of a penis at its widest section. In other words, ‘width’ as opposed to ‘length’.

The average girth of a flaccid penis is around 3.6 inches and 4.5 inches for an erect penis. As we’ve said, penis length is not as important as men think it is because the vagina has so many pleasure spots, many of which don’t require a big penis to reach.

Many women actually care more about girth than length. Why? Because a larger girth creates a satisfyingly full feeling and pleasure because it puts more pressure on the vaginal walls.

Of course, someone with a smaller than average girth can easily pleasure a vagina by working the right spots.

Bigger doesn’t always equal better

This may come as a surprise, but there is definitely such a thing as ‘too big’. Sex is painful for women more often than you think. Especially in certain positions, like doggy style.

Having a particularly big penis can be a big hindrance - seriously. Painful sex, painful blow jobs, not getting it in… If you’re wondering what penis size do women prefer and imaging the answer to be huge, think again.

Many women, or anyone having sex with someone with a penis, prefer average or smaller than averages penises for other types of sex. Activities like anal and oral sex are much easier and more pleasurable when penises are on the smaller side.

Woman pulling man into bed with her

Smaller than average? Don’t worry about it

If we’ve learned anything here today, it’s this: Having a big penis does not make you a better lover or more of a man.

If you have a penis and you sleep with women, don’t forget that women care about many other things more than penis size. And that if you’re packing a small load, there’s nothing to worry about.

Learn about her body, how to communicate, how to use toys, and about all the different ways to pleasure her, and she’ll be thinking about it for weeks.