What is Male Chastity and Can it be… Sexy?

When you hear the word “chastity”, you might think of medieval-style crotch contraptions or people swearing off sex for life. Or, if you’re kinky-minded, you’ll think about BDSM, orgasm denial, and sexual release.

In recent decades, male chastity in particular has become a way to enhance, not take away from, sexual pleasure. How can this work? Good question.

Penis cage chastity toy

What is chastity?

Chastity is the practice of abstaining from any kind of sexual intercourse. And yes, it totally can be sexy.

Chastity in history

Being chaste is known as a religious practice. Or as something that was forced upon women in the dark ages to take away their sexual freedom - back in the days when women would be locked in chastity belts to ensure fidelity, virginity, or to remove the temptation to masturbate or have sex.

Thankfully, this practice has (almost, but sadly not quite) died out.

The fetish today

Today, mainstream chastity has taken a u-turn and is practiced by people in the kinky community. Specifically, by people who are into BDSM. Why? Because sexy chastity is all about dominance and submission.

This kind of play involves someone (a sub) putting on a chastity cage or belt and giving the key to their partner (a dom). This device, which could be a belt, male chastity penis cage, or anything else (there are a lot of different types) that prevents your genitals from being stimulated.

Woman holding scarf around man's neck

What is chastity all about? The kink is a combination of sexual submission, orgasm denial, erotic humiliation, bondage, a little bit of body modification, and other kinks.

Despite it sounding so far out, it’s just a step up from other forms of kinky restraint play - like using handcuffs, gags, or other BDSM toys designed to restrict movement.

You might be surprised to learn that male chastity devices are in far higher demand than their female counterparts. Male chastity is particularly popular in the gay community.

What does kinky chastity actually involve?

There are different ways kinksters enjoy chastity play. They’re all about abstaining from sex, but you can choose how long you abstain, what chastity device you use (if you use one), what other play you’ll incorporate, and what rules you and your partner agree on.

As a BDSM practice, consent is, of course, crucial.

Chastity during sex

Chastity devices are commonly worn during partnered sex for a few hours, then taken off. The “chaste” partner can be stimulated in other ways, not stimulated at all, consensually “forced” to only pleasure their partner, or teased until they’re begging for relief.

The dominant partner can unlock them whenever they want. Chastity devices can also be used to explore other kinky scenarios during sex. For example, a sub could be put in a chastity device as a form of sexy “punishment” they must “earn” their way out of…

Seductive couple in bedroom

Long-term chastity

For others, abstaining is a lifestyle. People who are in long-term dom/sub relationships might choose to wear a chastity cage or belt for weeks or months. Or a sub might wear it just when their dom is away.

As we said, the way this is practiced and incorporated into someone’s sex life is up to them.

What’s so hot about being chaste?

If you’re into power play or you’ve practiced a bit of edging in your time, you’ll get the appeal of keeping sexual release at bay.

Domination and submission

This is one of the main reasons people get into chastity. Locking up your bits and handing over the key is total sexual submission. People who are BDSM-inclined get a thrill from giving up control and having someone else in charge of their body.

For people practicing longer-term chastity, wearing a device on your intimate area that someone else has to key to is a powerful symbol of ownership. That’s why it’s a great tool for exploring master/slave fantasies and other sex games.

Woman in black fetish clothing

Physical sensation

Penis-owners practicing male chastity report enjoying the physical feeling not only of being physically restrained but of feeling their penis cozily tucked into the male chastity cage.

Some, with a masochistic streak, get a pleasurable thrill from the physical pain of having their private bits restricted.

Building tension

Tension is a big part of what makes chastity so sexy. We all know that the more you’re told you can’t have something, the more you want it.

Think of chastity like extended edging, or foreplay. The more turned on you are and the longer you wear your device, the greater your sexual relief will be when it finally happens. Like fasting before a big feast!

The heightening of other senses

When one sense is dulled, others are heightened. That’s why being blindfolded during sex is so powerful - it makes you doubly aware of every other sensation.

People practicing chastity during sex come to appreciate the parts of sex and touch that aren’t penetration or genital stimulation. 

Romantic couple seated on rug


Some people choose to abstain from sex not to experience more pleasure, but to practice self-control. It can still be sexy, but these people use belts and penis cages to practice thinking less about sex and to work on longevity in the bedroom.

Equipment for locking up your private parts

Chastity belts

For vulva-owners, chastity belts that wrap around the waist and go between the legs are your best bet. They encase the whole vulva but leave a small gap for going to the toilet.

They’ll come with a lock and key and most likely include black material, chains, and be designed to look attractive when worn.

Penis cages

These devices are generally made of three parts: a ring that sits between the testicles and the body, the “cage” that encases the penis, and a lock. They often look cage-like and leave no room for a penis to get erect.

Some devices are specifically designed to “punish” erections but having elements like spikes on the inside of the device.

Bondage and fetish gear on table

There is a huge male chastity device market today and, unsurprisingly, there are loads of weird and wonderful specialized toys to choose from. Your device could include a vaginal or butt plug, or be designed to encase both the penis and testicles.

As always, when trying kinky activities like these for the first time, tread carefully. Explore with a partner you trust, discuss desires and boundaries first, and, please, keep that penis cage clean.

Can not doing it be as good as doing it? Yes!