Why Sex with Handcuffs Will Never Go Out of Style

Is there any sex toy more classic than the handcuff? We don’t think so. This article explores this toy’s popularity and teaches you how to start enjoying sex with handcuffs.

If you’re keen to discover our favorite handcuff sex positions and how to prepare for your first cuff experience, keep reading.

Sex and handcuffs: Why use them?

Firstly, novelty makes sex more exciting! Bringing a new thing to the bedroom is great because it lets you feel pleasure in a new way. A great new thing you can add to the bedroom is one of our essential sex toys: Handcuffs.

Purple fluffy handcuffs on purple background

Someone with a handcuff fetish will get extreme sexual arousal and pleasure from using cuffs or watching them being used.

But most people who use them during sex don’t have a handcuff fetish. They use handcuffs to explore the extra physical and psychological sensations they bring to sexual play.

Casual experimentation

Curious about sex toys? Handcuffs are an excellent first step. They’re also a good starting point for people curious about BDSM. They are easy to use, there are endless ways to use them, and they’re pain-free (if you want them to be…).

They also create intimacy. Using handcuffs requires trust between partners, particularly for the person restrained. They are handing over total physical control to their partner.

Exploring things that are considered “taboo” brings partners emotionally closer because kink is all about trust and communication. You have to make sure each other’s needs are being met more so than during “normal” sex.

Woman in leather outfit in red handcuffs


As we said, handcuffs are typically used for BDSM play. What exactly is BDSM? BDSM is the acronym used for sexual practices involving Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism.

Typical features of BDSM are restraint (hello handcuffs!), impact play (like erotic spanking), and power role-playing (people can be “dominants”, “submissives”, or “switches”).

Like many parts of BDSM play, having sex with handcuffs enhances the experience because the added psychological layer and connection to your partner makes you more “in the moment”.

Dominance, submission, and restraint

The point of having sex with handcuffs is that the handcuffed individual can’t move. They are powerless. Do you like the idea of being at your lover’s mercy? Handcuffs give your partner “control” over your body and pleasure while you experience the thrill of being vulnerable.

If you’ve got a dominant streak, handcuffing your partner will add powerful excitement to your sex. You’ll enjoy the fact they are dependent on you for pleasure and desiring you more intensely than ever.

How to have sex with handcuffs if you’re already into BDSM? Insert them into your favorite scenes and “punishments”.


Role-playing is an integral part of BDSM. Partners consensually take on dominant and submissive “roles” that characterize their sexual activities.

But you can use handcuffs to take role-playing even further! Cuffs are great for specific law enforcement fantasies or fantasies involving a master and sex slave

BDSM and leather gear and tools

How to have sex with handcuffs: Preparation

Safe, Sane, and Consensual

As with any BDSM activity but especially with sex and handcuffs, the Safe, Sane, Consensual principle is essential - more so if you’re a beginner.

Talk to your partner about your desires and boundaries - what you want to try, what turns you on, and what you’re worried about. Establish safe words for your hard limits. To enjoy the experience, there has to be total trust between partners.

Read our BDSM sex dictionary to learn more about kinky sex words and what they mean.

Pick the right cuffs

When bringing sex toys, handcuffs, or any other accessory into the bedroom, quality is essential. I know you see them everywhere, but avoid cheap metal cuffs. They’ll only break or hurt your wrists unnecessarily.

Start with softer cuffs like silicone or rope. You won’t need to worry about losing keys. They’re easy to use and gentle on the wrists but still feel strong enough for you to feel restrained.

Think about what positions usually turn you on

And bear these in mind when you’re thinking about handcuff sex positions. What are you picturing during your naughty handcuffing fantasies? Are your hands restrained behind your back while your partner pushes you against a wall? Are they above your head while you receive oral sex? Do you have one handcuffed to your office desk during your lunch break?

Take time to think about how you’d like someone to cuff you so you can talk about it with your partner. And don’t forget, there’s plenty of time to try all the handcuff sex positions out there. Take your time.

Romantic couple embracing in bed

The best handcuff sex positions

Like other classic sex toys, handcuffs are great because they’re so versatile. All you need to do is think of your favorite position and insert cuffs! But there are a few positions that cuff-lovers tend to enjoy the most.

Doggy style

With your hands cuffed behind you. Your partner will be in total control. Plus, doggy style always feels extra naughty. On the bed, floor, or against the wall? It’s up to you.

Just make sure the top half of your body feels stable, and your face isn’t totally squished into the pillow.

Lying on your back

With your hands cuffed above your head. This is one of the easiest handcuff sex positions. Your partner can explore your body while you lie back and enjoy the experience.

Use furniture!

You can cuff your partner to bedposts, chairs, staircases… These let you discover new positions for your bodies and enjoy the novelty of getting it on in a different place.

Sit your partner on a chair...

...cuff their hands behind their back and climb on! This feels very naughty and powerful and will give your partner a great view.

Hands of a couple in handcuffs

You’re now ready to enter the world of sex with handcuffs. Welcome! It’s a pleasure to have you here.