Dry Down There? 15 Reasons Why You Can’t Get Wet

I’m horny, so why am I dry down there all of a sudden?

Vaginal dryness is frustrating. You’re ready to get down to it but your vagina decides not to play ball. If you’re not wet down there, penetration will be painful instead of pleasurable. Why does this happen and what can you do about it?

Grapefruit with liquid showing orgasm concept

Wondering How to Get Wet? There Are Easy Solutions

Vaginal wetness, otherwise called arousal fluid, is produced in the vagina when you’re sexually stimulated or aroused and is closely connected to your estrogen levels. The fluid lubricates the vagina and prepares your body for intercourse.

It’s worth noting that our minds and bodies aren’t always in sync. This is called arousal non-concordance. It’s not unusual for someone to be aroused but not wet or to be wet but not turned on. Likewise, it’s not unusual for someone with a penis to be aroused but not get an erection, or get a surprise erection at an inconvenient time.

Being unusually dry down there is a common problem and one that’s often easily solved. Different physical and psychological factors can influence how wet you get and why you’re randomly dry at the worst possible moment.

Woman examining crotch with magnifying glass

15 Reasons You Might Be Dry Down There - And What You Can Do About It

1. There’s not enough foreplay

Arousal generally takes between 10 and 45 minutes for anyone with a vulva. So it’s normal to experience vaginal dryness if you’re rushing to penetration. Spend more time building arousal with touch, talk, foreplay, or an erotic story or movie.

2. How to get wet? Drink water!

Not drinking enough water can affect your vagina as well as other parts of your body. If you forget to drink water and you’re experiencing other symptoms of dehydration, like a dry mouth and skin or lightheadedness, you might just need to drink more water.

3. You’re on the pill

The pill and other hormonal contraceptives can impact how wet you get by messing with your estrogen levels. So can using spermicide or a diaphragm! If you think this is the cause, try switching to a different or non-hormonal contraceptive.

Birth control pills in pink bag

4. You’re taking medication

Many medications have random side effects, including vaginal dryness. Some anti-depressants, asthma medications, and antihistamines are known to cause this. It can also occur if you’re receiving chemotherapy or pelvic radiation treatment.

5. You smoke

People who smoke tend to reach menopause sooner and more frequently experience vaginal dryness. This is because smoking can clog arteries, including those around the vagina, causing it to take longer for your blood vessels to engorge and vaginal moisture produced.

6. You have a yeast infection

Bacterial infections mess with the flora balance in your vagina, which can lead to dryness and painful sex. These are easily solved by going to a gynecologist and getting medication.

7. You’re experiencing the menopause

Estrogen levels can decrease during menopause and perimenopause. This can affect your libido and ability to get wet. Speak to your doctor about hormone treatments.

How to get wet during menopause? Make lube your new best friend!

Wooden blocks spelling menopause

8. You’re in the luteal phase of your cycle

Wondering why am I dry down there all of a sudden at certain times of the month? The luteal phase comes in the days after ovulation. It’s normal to experience decreased wetness and a lowered libido at this time.

9. You have an underlying health condition

A number of different health conditions have vaginal dryness as a symptom, including Sjögren's (an immune system disorder), hypothyroidism, and diabetes. If your dryness persists and you’ve ruled out other possibilities, speak to your doctor, as it could be a sign of something else.

10. You’ve just given birth

It’s common for new mothers to wonder how to get wet. If you’ve just given birth or you’re breastfeeding, your hormone balance will be off and you might experience a lack of libido and wetness.

This is normal and natural and will pass with time. Again, if you’re up for sex, have the lube at hand!

Stressed sad woman lying on couch

11. You’re stressed out

If you’re feeling particularly stressed or down in general, it can be harder for you to get wet or feel aroused because your mind is elsewhere and feeling far from sexy. Take the time to work on stress coping mechanisms, like meditation or exercise, and give yourself time to rest.

12. You’re using the wrong soap

Sometimes our bodies don’t like the soap or detergents we’re using. This can lead to dryness or other discomforts. Vaginal douching and generally washing too much down there can also lead to dryness.

Try switching the products you use and don’t wash down there so much. Remember, the vagina is self-cleaning!

13. You’re anxious

Lots of people experience anxiety about and during sex. It can be about the person you’re with, performance anxiety, orgasm anxiety, body anxiety, or internalized shame about sex. When you’re anxious, you’re not relaxed or present in your body, which can lead to dryness.

Communicate these feelings with your partner, don’t rush yourself, and work on mindfulness in your daily life so you can be mindful during sex.

Colourful condoms hanging from string

14. You have a latex allergy

Latex allergies aren’t uncommon. If you feel burning, discomfort, or dryness when using a latex condom, try switching to a latex-free condom and see if it makes a difference.

Shop-bought lubricants can also sometimes irritate the vagina and cause dryness. Try a new or homemade lube.

15. You’re not enjoying yourself!

Let’s face it, sometimes sex isn’t good or you just don’t want to be there. When this happens, it’s no surprise you’re not wet.

Wondering why is my vagina dry? Your partner might be doing it wrong, you’re not attracted to them enough, the sexual chemistry is lacking, or you feel pressured into it.

If you’re having sex for any reason other than you enthusiastically want to, stop! If your partner just needs to get better, show them what you like in a sexy way. Or show them our guide on how to finger a woman. Put your pleasure first!

Cheerful woman on bed

“Why is my vagina dry?” Finding the answer is crucial to having satisfying sex

Those are 15 common reasons why you might be dry down there. Do any of them ring a bell?

Vaginal dryness can usually be fixed by experimenting to find the most likely cause, then making small adjustments. If you’ve tried everything and you’re still wondering how to get wet, take a trip to your gynecologist.

And never forget, whether your dry down there or not, there’s one piece that always makes sex better: lube!