Up Your Seduction Skills: 9 Tips on How to Flirt

It can be tough out there for the singleton. Especially now, with technology meaning we’ve forgotten how to flirt in real life, and apps transforming the dating landscape. Wondering what pick up lines for flirting actually work? You’re not alone.

Flirting is an art form. It’s the first step when it comes to hooking up or finding love. It’s how we show we fancy someone and persuade them we’re a good catch. But luckily, anyone can do it!

Our team of dating experts have gathered their 9 essential tips on how to flirt.

PS. Leave the winking at home.

Couple embracing at home

1. Relax!

Everyone knows confidence is attractive. And a big part of being confident, and how to flirt over text or in person, is being relaxed. Take the pressure off a flirting situation by focussing on letting that person know you’re into them, and not expecting anything back - yet. Plus, you’ll only be able to deliver your best pick up lines for flirting when you’re not focussing on impressing someone.

2. Use your eyes...

Eye contact is in every how to flirt guide you’ll come across. Why? Because it works! Lots of us are bad at this and get nervous maintaining eye contact for too long, but it’s the first thing you can do to get attention and create a spark.

Intense eye contact and the way you look at them is the difference between them thinking you want to high-five or wake up next to them.

Woman seductively leading boyfriend to bed

If you see a hot stranger walking towards you on the other side of the street, don’t get flustered and stare straight ahead. Look at them, meet their gaze, hold it for at least 2 seconds, then look away. Better yet, do a coy smile. Then wait for them to follow you down the street and deliver their best pick up line for flirting.

3. ...and your mouth

By this we mean two things. One: smile! Smiling is the universal way of connecting to another person. People feel special when you smile at them, and people look more beautiful when they smile.

And two? Your mouth is a sensual body part, so subtly draw attention to it during conversation by “absentmindedly” tracing your lips with your fingers, or applying lip balm while maintaining their gaze. This is a simple way to seriously heighten attraction.

Man touches girlfriend's butt in kitchen

4. Find a way to get a closer

This is another one that is not about how to flirt over text, but how to up your game in person.

If you see the stranger you’ve been eyeing, head to the bar, go and order a drink at the same time, or walk past their table. At the start, a lot of how to flirt is about finding ways to place yourself right in their line of attention.

This advice also applies to your bodies. If you’re already in a flirty conversation, build tension with subtle touches. This means more than a handshake, but less than a full-on butt grab (which is only acceptable with enthusiastic consent!).

Try lightly touching their waist as you redirect them across the room. Or gently touch their forearm while asking them a question.

5. Ask questions and genuinely listen

The art of flirting is similar to the art of conversation. One thing is crucial: listening. In general, people love to talk about themselves and are drawn to people who genuinely listen - not people who pretend to listen while saying “yeah” a lot.

Couple chatting over lunch date

Ask questions about them or things you know they’re interested in. Pay attention to their answers so you have good follow up questions.

The same advice applies when it comes to how to flirt over text. Don’t commit the cardinal sin of going on about yourself and presuming they find what you’re saying interesting.

6. Give an honest compliment

Lots of people don’t respond to overt, run-of-the-mill compliments as they seem disingenuous. Give a compliment but be honest, specific, and a little different.

Instead of telling them they’re hot, tell them you like their perspective on a certain topic, their style, or the flecks of green in their eyes. A casual compliment that you give but don’t dwell on will leave them wondering what you’re really thinking.

How to flirt? Show interest while maintaining a bit of mystery.

Couple flirting over coffee in cafe

7. Don’t be fake

You’re your most charming when you’re being yourself - guaranteed. Avoid eyelash batting and over the top giggling. We’re inherently drawn to people when they’re being genuine, and it’s easy to spot when someone’s putting on a show.

Plus, being yourself is the best way for them to get to know the real you, so you can both know early on whether it’s going somewhere or not.

If you’re dying to make that inappropriate joke or get really passionate about a “dorky” subject you love, do it. If they don’t like that about you, move on!

8. Subtly seal the deal

If it’s going well and you think they’re interested, it’s time to find a way to establish a second meeting. If you’re nervous about being too direct, you can find a sneaky way to do it. Is there something you’ve been talking about or something they have expertise in that you could use? These pick up lines for flirting will help you along.

Call me written on a napkin

“So, you’ve been climbing for years? I’ve always wanted to try it. Could you show me sometime?”

Similarly, this is a good way to get someone’s number and move to the next step: how to flirt over text.

“I’d love to hear more of your music. Can you send me some samples? What’s your number?”

9. Be a graceful loser

If you branch out and they’re not showing interest back, don’t worry about it. Sometimes you won’t be someone’s cup of tea, or they’ll be romantically attached somewhere else. Smile, thank them for their time, tell them you couldn’t not try, and walk out with your head held high.

Couple chatting and smiling in bed

You flirted! Didn’t it feel great?

As you’d expect, when it comes to how to flirt, practice makes perfect. The more you do it, the better you’ll be, and the more confident and relaxed you’ll seem. Plus, you’ll realise how fun it is!

If you’ve mastered how to flirt over text, it’s time to really heat things up with sexting.