How to sext: 12 sexting ideas that work.
Sexting online is an art form. According to experts, sexting is a perfect form of foreplay. And when all you have is your keyboard to express your most sensual thoughts, every word counts. A well-shot picture of a guy’s V-lines may get the message across, but there is something even hotter about a person who can turn you on with good old-fashioned dirty talk.
Sexting is also very necessary for maintaining excitement in a long-term relationship (or for firing the flame in a new one!). Sexting reminds you and your partner just how much you fancy each other. It’s flirty, it’s fun, and it has you counting down the minutes until bedtime.
But many of us don’t know how to sext. And when the topic of sexting online comes up, our brains are filled with anxious questions. Is sexting just sending nudes? What do I say in a sext? How do I start sexting someone? What if I embarrass myself?
We are here to assure you that sexting online is easier than you think. Everyone can do it, and, frankly, everyone wants to be doing it.
So if you need a comprehensive guide for how to sext, look no further. Here are 10 sexting ideas that work.
1. Pick the Right Moment.
How to sext? To start with, timing is everything. It’s essential to figure out what your partner is up to before you dive right into sexting. If they’re in an important meeting or out with their family, you might want to push your sexting session back a few hours. But picking the right moment isn’t difficult.
Text them when you know they’re alone, or send them a simple “Hey, what are you up to?” message. If they’re free, start flirting! If they’re occupied, then you’ll just have to wait (which is sexual tension-building in itself...).
2. Initiate Sexting, but Go Slow
As we’ve noted, sexting is all about building tension. You need to start the conversation with an opening to show that you’re ready to play, but don’t jump into the hardcore stuff straight away. This is how to sext for beginners, too! You could send your partner a selfie of your cleavage with a simple “Hey you.”
Other sexting ideas include telling them you are thinking about them from your bedroom, or the bath, saying “I miss your X”, or telling them about the new sexy lingerie you are wearing.
Even a simple but teasing “I’m cold, fancy warming me up?” will work. You want to be subtle but forward, and make it clear that you’re DTS (Down To Sext).
As soon as you get a reply back, you’ll know whether you’ve got the go-ahead to continue or save it for another time. Wait for their reaction, and then make the situation hotter, one syllable at a time.
3. Relive a Sexy Encounter.
If you’ve been sexually intimate with this person before, a good way to get the sexting going is to talk about a particularly hot encounter you’ve shared. This can start with a direct “I can’t stop thinking about last night”, or “Remember when we did X? Let’s do it again soon” or even “I can still feel your body in mine.”
With only a few words you will have both you and your partner picturing yourselves getting it on, and, trust us, the sexual charge will be building.
Referring to a shared experience also heightens intimacy, as you are talking about a naughty secret that only the two of you know. And you’ll never be stuck for what to say, because it’s all already happened! It’s a win-win.
Emojis are the most common graphics used when sexting, but you can and should spice things up a bit with some suggestive images.
4. Personalize it
Try as much as possible to tell your sexting partner exactly what you like about them. Everyone loves to feel sexy, unique and as if they are on someone’s mind. Sexting is undoubtedly the best way to let someone know you are thinking about them. And for this, it’s all in the details.
Do they do something particular to you that you like? Tell them you want that from them, right now.
Or describe how much you want your favorite part of their body and the specific things you’ll do to it, whether that be kissing their neck, pulling their hair or (hopefully) even more (there are truly endless sexting ideas!). Personalizing your sexts creates intimacy, which only adds to the heat.
And making your descriptions detailed means that your imagination can more clearly picture all the things you’ll be doing to each other later. And isn’t that the whole point of sexting, after all?
5. Write what Feels Natural to You.
Most worries about how to sext come from not wanting to feel embarrassed, or to feel like you have said the wrong thing or ruined the moment. But don’t worry, because this rarely happens. And if you’re fairly new to sexting, fear not, because you never have to stray far from your comfort zone. A sext can be as simple as “Can’t wait to see you in bed tonight”.
You could leave it there, or follow the direction your partner takes the conversation. It is totally up to you, so don’t feel pressured. However, we know from experience that once you start sexting, it’s difficult to stop. Be prepared for an innocent text to turn into an erotic message thread.
Communicating via phone means you can really say things you might not normally say in person, which can be very liberating for those introverts out there!
6. Be Creative with Your Visuals.
Words inevitably turn into pictures when it comes to sexting online. Men are highly visual. So as much as they are turned on by seeing you naked in the flesh (and they are turned on a lot), they are turned on by a suggestive picture of you, too.
Taking selfies is fun, and finding those flattering angles and then receiving compliments from your partner can make you feel really good about yourself. Of course only send suggestive photos to someone you completely trust, and only if you want to. Being pressured to send nudes is a big no-no.
How far you want to go with photos is up to you. It can take a few attempts to find the angles that work for you, so if you have close friends who are into sexting, ask to see their photos for some inspiration!
And a picture really does tell a thousand words.
7. Keep a library of sexy pics.
Sometimes the perfect picture can take time. And you never know when you’ll be surprised with a sexting session! And because sexting online is all about quick responses and keeping the sexual energy going, you’ll need a store of sexy photos at hand at all times, just in case.
So when you have some time on a day when you’re really feeling yourself, take a load of selfies!
Try all the different angles, lingerie, close-ups, and positions. Not only will you find out how to take your best ever photos, but you will have a supply of suggestive pictures at the ready for whenever you need them.
This library will make sure you’re sext-ready even on the days when you don’t feel particularly sexy. And a quick browse through some 10/10 selfies when you’re having an off-day will also give you a confidence boost when you need it. Treat yourself!
8. Use those Emojis.
In today’s society, most of us understand what emojis mean. But can they help with how to sext? They are fun, time-saving and cute to look at. And yes, they can add an extra dimension to sexting, too! You can use these emojis on their own or alongside a sexy sentence: it’s up to you.
Try sending your partner a simple purple devil and see what response you get, or use emojis to describe what you want to do to them (the water drops might come in handy here…). You’ll never be stuck on how to sext again! For those unfamiliar with the world of innuendo emojis, here are the basics:
- Peach: Bottom.
- Eggplant: Penis.
- Taco: VaginaWater drops: Cum.
- Purple devil: I’m horny.
- Lollipop: I’m hinting at oral sex.
- Face with the tongue: I’m feeling naughty.
- Winking face: I’m flirting with you.
9. Talk Dirty: Describe what you want to do to them, and what you want them to do to you.
Words are the foundation of sexting. And with millions of words to choose from, we are not short on sexting ideas. But this can leave lots of people not knowing what to say, or how. Describing what you want to do to (or with) your sexting partner is a fail-safe way to turn you both on. And with this, you can get as imaginative and as filthy as you like.
A basic “I want to make you cum” will do the trick. But also feel free to be more elaborate and detailed in your depictions. Do you want to caress their body, kiss their thigh or feel them inside you…? Tell them! And switch it around too. Talk about how much you want them, and the specific things you want them to do to you (for more sexting ideas, see our guide on oral sex for women).
Try to be detailed whilst also leaving some things to the imagination. If you find yourself out of ideas, just think about all the different moves and parts of sex and foreplay, and describe doing any one of these things to them!
Kissing (anywhere, just pick a body part!), taking off their clothes, touching, biting, whispering in their ear (and everything else we know you get up to).
When you next see your partner, you will be picking up where your sexting leaves off…
10. Show them how turned on you are.
You’re in the thick of it now, and your partner is describing all of the things we talked about in point no.9. What do you do now? It might be tempting to sit there and enjoy the erotic narrative coming in, but your partner will be looking for some kind of reaction so they know they’re saying the right things.
This reaction can be difficult to get across via text because when you’re with a sexual partner in the flesh there are all sorts of non-verbal ways to express the fact that you’re having a good time.
For sexting online ideas, take the natural things you might say during sex as a starting point, whether that be a simple “Oh yes”, “Ooh” or “Hmm” sound. But as this is sexting, and the excitement builds from the fact that you are not together but wish you were, you should describe in more detail how their sexts are making you feel, and what they are making you do. Are they making you wet, or hot? Tell them that.
Are you touching yourself and thinking of them? Nothing is sexier for your partner to hear! A lot of how to sext is describing your own feelings. And don’t forget - masturbation is good for you.
11. Ask Questions.
If you want to keep the sexting going but you’re unsure how to do it, ask a few pointed questions. Questions show you are totally engaged in the conversation and can allow you to delve deeper or take a new direction in your sexual narrative.
They enable you to learn how to sext by learning how your partner wants to sext. Try questions like “What do you want me to do to you?”, “What’s your fantasy?”, or “Where do you want to touch me first?”. These show your partner you are interested in their desires, which makes them more inclined to share their sexiest secrets with you.
12. Talk About Your Fantasies.
You’ve been asked the golden question: “What’s your fantasy?”. But you’re shy, you don’t know what to say and worried your sexting partner might think you’re weird!
Firstly, if they’ve asked you this question they 1. are enjoying sexting you and want to continue, and 2. want to know your fantasies! You’re in a great situation, and it’s time to enjoy it. As a starting point, a basic “You” response would work here. Your partner will be turned on by knowing that you fantasize about them.
You could go on to describe what you want to be doing with them (as we talk about in point no.9), and, when you’re feeling a little more confident, you can start to tease even further. Do you fantasize about BDSM but you’re not sure what your partner is thinking? Start slow.
Try saying “I want you to take my clothes off, pin me down/tie my hands behind my back”, or say you want to do any of these things to them.
Some common sexual fantasies include submission/domination, role-play (try introducing characters into your sexting, maybe you’re a master who needs to punish a naughty slave…), anal sex, exhibitionism, and voyeurism - why not tell your partner you’d love to watch them undress, or masturbate!
Sharing secret desires make you are your partner feel more connected, and consequently more aroused. And who knows, now that you’ve talked about your fantasies, maybe you’ll get to try them in real life?
The next time you find yourself turned on but far away from your partner, fear not! Pick up your phone, use our sexting ideas and channel your sexual energy into a passionate sexting session.
How to sext has never been easier! Watch how it transforms your sex life (and your workday…) and makes your sexual confidence rocket sky-high. Happy sexting!