How to Last Longer in Bed: 11 Tips for Sexual Stamina
Yes, sometimes sex is earth-shattering, life-changing, and lasts the whole day. But sometimes (more often than we like to admit) sex is over too fast. It’s normal to encounter problems during sex, and there aren’t many people who haven’t wondered how to last longer in bed.
The Age-Old Question: How to Last Longer During Sex?
Are penis-related problems really something that “happens to everyone”? Or is that just something we tell our partners to make them feel better? No! It really does happen to everyone!
Around 1 in 10 penis-owners regularly experience performance anxiety, premature ejaculation, or similar issues. Performance anxiety mostly affects people in their 20s and 30s, but will probably affect every penis-owner at some point in their life. Similarly, orgasm anxiety is something many vulva-owners experience during sex.
On Average, Penis in Vagina Sex Lasts 5-6 Minutes
For many people, it’s a lot shorter than this. But for others - those who already know how to last longer - it can go on for hours.
But how to master this skill? It’s not so difficult, and there are many techniques you can try that are proven to increase staying power in the sack, from releasing anxiety to trying different condoms.
How to Last Longer in Bed: 11 Ways to Increase your Staying Power
1. Remember that sex doesn’t have to end because you orgasm
Part of the “how to last longer in bed for men” problem is the belief that P in V sex is all about the male orgasm. Also, that once a guy climaxes, sex has to end. And that if he doesn’t climax, sex is a failure.
And that sex can only mean penis in vagina penetration.
None of this is true!
If you’ve finished too soon, just pleasure your partner with your hands and mouth. They’ll be enjoying themselves too much to miss penetration! Plus, your refractory period (the time after you orgasm when you can’t get an erection or climax again) could pass while you’re getting your partner off, meaning you could go in for round 2.
2. One word: Foreplay
If your partner is a vulva-owner, we can almost guarantee that no amount of foreplay is “too much”. Even though everyone knows it’s important, there are still times we get excited, skip foreplay, and go straight for penetration.
But don’t! Making foreplay last longer is the easiest way to make sex last longer. If you feel penetration-temptation, stop yourself and start stimulating your partner where they like it.
We’ve said it once and we’ll say it again: Foreplay. All the way.
3. The classic how to last longer during sex technique: Masturbate before sex
Specifically, about an hour or two before sex. As we know, this is a tried and tested way to make you work harder to reach orgasm.
4. Pause and squeeze
This how to last longer technique involves you literally pausing and firmly squeezing the head of your penis just before ejaculation.
More specifically, when you feel like you’re about to burst, put your fingers around your penis, right below the head, and apply firm pressure for 10-20 seconds. This decreases sexual excitement and slows the blood flow that’s building up, keeping your climax at bay.
5. Practice edging
When you’re masturbating and feel close to orgasm, stop. It can be difficult because when you’re that close, your instincts are telling you to keep going. But practicing stopping all movement for 10 seconds and letting the excitement fade, before starting again, will develop self-control.
Once you’ve practiced this solo, you can do it during sex. A side benefit is that the tension that builds with edging will make your eventual orgasm more intense.
6. Use a thicker condom
Condoms tend to decrease sensitivity. So if you’re finishing too soon, using a thicker condom will make you have to work harder for longer to orgasm. How to last longer in bed for men?
Sometimes you’ve got to decrease sensation to extend the pleasure.
7. Make a change from thrusting in and out
Sure, thrusting is a classic move for a reason. But it’s also a sure-fire way to orgasm too soon. Instead of making penetration all about thrusting, do different things with your penis.
For example, slowly circle around your partner’s vagina/anus entrance, try to stimulate their G-spot, or slowly grind by circling your hips to stimulate all parts of them and new parts of your genitals. Not only will this add variety to your sex, but you’ll be able to go for longer.
8. Switch up your positions
Some positions, like doggy style, make it easier for you to thrust away and orgasm too soon. Try to be in at least 3 different positions during one sex session. Moving between positions, whatever they are, will give you a small break to let premature excitement fade, and will make sex more interesting.
Try positions that emphasize slowness and intimacy - like having you both sat up, facing each other, with your legs wrapped around each other. You won’t be able to move too fast like this, and you’ll be able to enjoy each gentle sensation more, and for longer.
9. Address your anxiety
Worrying about climaxing too soon will only make it worse. Performance anxiety can be treated with similar techniques that help anxiety in general. Such as deep breathing, visualizing, and reminding yourself that orgasming too fast is totally not the end of the world. In fact, it’s normal.
10. Strengthen your pelvic floor muscles
That’s right - Kegels aren’t just for women! Did you know that by exercising their pelvic floor muscles, penis-owners will have more control over their ejaculation?
Don’t know where yours are? Next time you’re in the bathroom, pause your urine flow for a few seconds, then release. Alternatively, try to imagine “lifting” your testicles. The muscles you’ll feel working are your pelvic floor ones, otherwise called pubococcygeal muscles.
Exercise these by holding/tightening them for 10 seconds, then releasing. Doing 10 sets of these every day will create a major improvement in your climax control.
11. Talk to your partner
Lots of people feel awkward or embarrassed about climaxing too soon. Because of this, they won’t talk to their partner about it.
There’s no need to be embarrassed! Remember that:
- 1. It’s normal
- 2. Your partner doesn’t care as much as you think they care
- 3. They will be more than happy to work through it with you.
Having a conversation about it will also dispel lots of your anxiety, which in itself will help with the physical stuff.
Do you feel calm, content, and ready for some slow, all-night-long sex? You should, because you’re prepared for it! And once you’ve practiced these, you can move on to our favorite kind of slow sex: Tantra.
The ultimate how to last longer in bed for men, or for anyone, tip? Take your time. Sex, like other pleasures, shouldn’t be rushed.