How to Give Your Lover a Sensual Massage They Won’t Forget

Wondering how to give a sensual massage that takes your lover to new realms of pleasure? You’re in the right place. This erotic massage guide will take you from the relaxing start to a pleasurable finish, and includes tips on how to make it unforgettable.

Close up man giving woman message back rub

Erotic massage has so many benefits

What is a sensual massage? Something that’s good for all-around wellbeing. A sexy massage is a great way to impress your lover, but it has so many other benefits.

Giving your partner a sensual rub relieves body tension and stress, increases intimacy, shows them you care about their pleasure, boosts health and emotional wellbeing, builds sexual tension, and lets you explore each other’s bodies in a new way.

Erotic massages are also a very common sexual fantasy.

What is a sensual massage?

We’ll get onto the question of how to give an erotic massage. First, let’s establish this: What is a sensual massage and how is it different from a standard one?

An erotic massage is a massage that’s about more than relaxation and healing sore muscles. It has an additional purpose: arousal and sexual pleasure. It’s usually done between sexual or romantic partners. It’s something the Kama Sutra totally approves of.

Woman massaging boyfriend in bed in lingerie

Generally, an erotic massage begins like any other but additionally includes erogenous zones and genitals. It can culminate in sex (oral, penetrative, whatever you want) and an orgasm, but it certainly doesn’t have to. It can end in a cuddle, or your lover floating off to sleep on a cloud of blissful relaxation.

How to Give a Sensual Massage: Beginner’s Guide and Top Tips

1. Draw them a bath while you “set up the space”

Run them a bath before the massage begins. This will warm up their muscles and get them to unwind from whatever kind of day they’ve had. It also gives you time to prepare the massage space.

2. Create the right ambiance

What do we mean by preparing the massage space? Ambiance! Light scented candles and dim the lights so the room looks and feels soft. Turn up the heating if the room is cold.

If the room’s messy, give it a quick clean. Put on a calming, ambient playlist - or a sexy one if you want to get straight in the mood.

How to give an erotic massage like a professional? Learn how to make your massage an immersive experience that engages all 5 senses.

Sea salts, candles, and massage oil on tray

3. Make sure they’re comfortable

How to give a sensual massage they won’t forget? Make it solely about their pleasure and comfort.

Lie your partner down on a surface with a clean towel or sheet underneath. Have them undress and then place a towel or blanket over their body. Remove the covering from the body parts being touched when necessary during the erotic massage.

Make sure they know there’s no expectation to have sex after the massage, or for them to give you a massage in return.

However, if you know both of you want things to get sexy later on, turn up the heat by doing the massage in lingerie. Or better yet, do it naked.

4. Get a high-quality massage oil

A dry massage isn’t sexy. Fortunately, there are loads of great massage oils you can buy in-store or online. The best ones have relaxing essential oils and feel wonderful on skin.

If you don’t have time to buy one, coconut oil or your favorite lubricant will do.

Close up female chest in white towel

If you’re both feeling kinky, a sensual massage can be a great time to explore temperature play with hot massage oil or wax.

5. Warm your hands before touching their skin

What is a sensual massage? Something that is relaxing because it flows. Avoid the shock of cold hands or oil on warm skin by pouring the oil into your hands and rubbing them together. Remember to reapply oil when your hands get too dry.

Your hands shouldn’t be soaking wet, but they should always have silky smooth contact with your partner’s skin.

6. Start slow and gentle

When you’re both ready, start the sensual massage by gently stroking the oil across their body with long, slow strokes, using the whole of your hands.

For ease, you can position yourself by their head and slowly stroke up and down their spine and sides - if you decide to start with their back, which is pretty standard.

At this point, you’re trying to warm up their body. If you want to make it interesting, use your fingertips or the backs of your nails to trace all over their skin.

Close up woman getting massage on table

How to give an erotic massage like they’ve never had before? Use different parts of your hands to create exciting new sensations.

7. Increase the pressure

After a few minutes of waking up their body, you can start to focus and put more pressure on areas that hold tension.

For most people that means the neck, shoulders, the area between the shoulder blades, and lower back. But you should always ask them what feels good and where they want to be touched.

Slowly knead these areas with your fingers and thumb, even your knuckle if they’re particularly tense. Keep a steady rhythm and avoid prodding, pinching, or jagged movements.

Because this is a sensual as opposed to say, deep tissue massage, don’t worry so much about intense kneading and removing knots.

8. Head to the rest of their body

An erotic massage doesn’t have to be a whole-body massage, but it can be. If they want the rest of their body explored, pay attention to ultra pleasurable areas like: forearms, hands, feet, hips, and other erogenous zones.

9. Heighten the erotica by involving your mouth

How to give a sensual massage that’s seriously hot? Use more than your hands. Use your mouth to kiss, lick, or lightly nibble their fingers, ear lobes, up and down their back, thighs, stomach… anywhere they like it.

10. When it’s time, pay attention to their sexy zones...

If they’re hot and bothered and you know it’s time to get sexy, turn your attention to their hot parts.

Slowly tease your hands up their inner thighs. Massage around the breasts or chest, lower stomach, and pubic mound. Get close to their genitals without quite going there.

And don’t forget about the butt. Obviously, massaging your lover’s butt is hot, but it’s also an area where lots of us hold tension.

11. ...and see where that takes you

After time spent massaging tantalizingly close to their pleasure zones, you’ll probably both be desperate for each other. Every touch will feel mind-blowing because their nerves are heightened and the sexual tension has been building.

Close up woman getting shoulder massage in white towel

If you know you both want to go further, you can turn the massage into foreplay foreplay.

Take your time pleasuring them. Go slower than you usually would. And remember this isn’t about making them orgasm, it’s about pleasure and sensation and the experience.

Deliberately pay attention to different parts of them with your hands and mouth. Stroke different parts of their vulva, penis, nipples, perineum, or anus area in different ways. Vary your strokes and focus on getting to know this part of their body.

What’s next? The rest is up to you. As we said, this can end with penetration, oral sex, etc. Or it can end with you both having the best night's sleep of your life.

How to give a sensual massage? Practice makes Perfect

Don’t forget that the most important thing when giving an erotic massage is to ask your lover what they like and want, and to not rush it.

Woman massaging boyfriend in bed

The more sensual massages you do, the better you’ll be. Why not start tonight?