Date stacking: Is This Dating Trend The Smart Way to Find Love?

Dates can be exciting, surprising, empowering, and sexy. They can also be awkward, time-consuming, and disappointing.

Unless you’ve been in long-term monogamy most of your life, you’ve probably been on dating apps and been on what seems like a million dates, many you’ve regretted afterward.

While it’s not always fun, dating is probably the most effective way to meet potential lovers and partners. But is putting so much emotion, energy, and outfit prep into our big Friday date a mistake?

Date stacking, the new Gen Z dating trend, takes a new and efficient approach to finding love. What is date stacking? Does it work? Is it fair? And how do you know if it’s the dating style for you?

Side view couple kissing indoors

What is date stacking?

Date stacking is a bit like speed dating. But instead of moving to the next table after five minutes, you move to your next date 1 hour or so. And you don’t tell your dates the details of your next plan (unless they want to know).

This new trend, also called errand dating, went viral on TikTok this year after a Brooklyn woman narrated her journey through three dates in one night.

It’s a proactive strategy that involves scheduling multiple dates in a small timeframe, like one evening or one day. It’s about fitting dates around your daily instead of putting loads of pressure and spending an entire evening on one person.

A coffee date during your lunch break? A quick post-work walk in the park? A drink before a night out with friends? A late dinner after your evening workout? All good date stacking opportunities!

What is date stacking about? It’s about approaching dating like you would quickly catch up with a friend. It’s short, sweet, and (hopefully) educational.

Cheerful couple enjoying ice cream

What are the pros of date stacking?

One of the main pros of date stacking is that you get to show up authentically. The time we typically allocate to dating preparation makes our dating self a performance.

We look perfect, we laugh, we smile, we put on our best selves. Arranging dates to fit into the rest of your day ensures you show up as your most genuine self, which helps you both decide how well-matched you are faster.

What is date stacking and is it good for busy people? Every singleton knows that dates often feel like a waste of time, money, and cute underwear. If you’re lucky, they can lead to a second date or a hot night, but they rarely lead to anything long-term.

Date stacking can save you a lot of time, including getting ready, worrying, and wondering if someone’s a good match. It reduces disappointment by taking the pressure off a single date and lets you save your social energy for other activities, like hobbies or seeing friends.

What is date stacking? It’s a proactive instead of reactive dating strategy that lets you take control. It’s efficient because you get to sample what’s out there faster, hopefully cutting down the time it takes to find someone you click with.

Date stacking is also a useful way to get to know yourself, how you like to socially interact, how you prefer to date and get to know people, and what you’re looking for in a partner.

Woman doing make up in mirror

And what are the cons?

Predictably, there are flaws to this seemingly genius dating plan.

Having three dates in one day means three periods of time and energy spent introducing yourself, asking those boring early date questions, and battling through awkwardness. If your social energy isn’t naturally high, this could not only leave you drained and exhausted but also a drained version of yourself on your later dates.

Schedule-wise, unless you’re super organized, things can go awry. What if you hit it off with date one but it’s too late to politely cancel on date two? What if date two is terrible and leaves you anxious or depleted on date three? What if one of your dates sees you with another?

Date stacking also has the potential to make dating feel more like a job than something fun and flirty.

Should you try date stacking?

If the thought of having three dates in a row sounds like a headache, or if you tend to be flakey, unorganized or won’t be able to cut a date short when you have to comfortably, date stacking isn’t for you.

But if you’re set on meeting someone (ASAP), you’re naturally organized, not easily drained by other people, or just excited by the idea, give it a go.

Woman making silence gesture while hugging man

Don’t tire yourself out or overdo it

Even if you’re a social butterfly, dating is tiring. Don’t overdo it with a million dates your first week or you’ll get burned out, need a break, and probably stop enjoying them.

Dating, whether it’s ‘successful’ or not, can have emotional effects. If you’re suddenly dating a lot, stay alert for signs of fatigue, anxiety, disinterest, or lowered self-esteem.

As long as it’s not hurting anyone else, people can date however they want to. If you find yourself to be a date stacking genius, make sure you’re being respectful to your dates and aware of your own capacity.

There’s nothing wrong with dating five people at once, but there’s also nothing wrong with taking time to be alone and enjoy the benefits of singledom. Do what works for you.

And in the meantime? Practice your seduction skills with Pantydeal’s ultimate flirting guide.