Pantydeal Podcast - Episode 8: How do Panty Sellers and Buyers communicate?

Author: DragonLady22
Published: October 23rd 2019

This week we’re talking about communication between buyers and sellers.

First impressions are everything when it comes to being a member of Pantydeal. As sellers and as buyers, it’s important that we convey the right impression in order to make sales or to make purchases.

This is a very important topic and as such we’ve asked a few members of our community to give us their experiences about how they like to be approached as a buyer or as a seller. Learning from others about how they like prospective buyers or sellers to contact them is really useful if you want to have a great experience on the site.

With what we’ll talk about today, you’ll be able to have a better understanding as a seller of whether a buyer is serious and legitimate and how buyers best like to be messaged.

So, let’s dive in.


When it comes to communication on Pantydeal, the most important thing is that buyers and sellers give each other a certain amount of respect. We are dealing with intimate fetishes and intimate subject matter and as such it’s imperative that we have that mutual respect for each other.

Each to their own and we are all different and have something valuable to bring to the site. So, we ought to conduct ourselves in our communication with respect to the other person.

This works both ways. Most sellers will tell you that it’s important that buyers treat them as real people.

As with anything online, it’s easy to hide behind a screen and not see the other person as a real human being. For that reason, try to remember that the person you are communicating with is a real person with feelings. Have a conversation with them the way you might with a stranger you meet on the street.

Be courteous, respectful, and kind at all times.

Be Friendly.

Most people on Pantydeal will tell you that they have had the opportunity to connect with some great people and go on to create real friendships.

Sellers and buyers can form good friendships that last many years. It is important to see the connection as more than just a transaction, with the potential to meet true friends that you can form a bond with.

Erotic Chat

Build Rapport.

For some buyers, it is important to establish trust with a seller before deciding to purchase from them. Some panty buyers like to form a connection with the person that they want to buy from. With that in mind, sellers may need to take some time to communicate with these buyers and engage in some conversation.

This helps the buyer form a judgment about whether they’d like to purchase something.

The conversation need not be sexual; it can be about any number of things. This is why it is a good idea to fill in your profile description as a buyer and as a seller. It gives each something to talk about.

Be Direct but Not Too Direct.

Of course, some buyers may feel apprehensive about reaching out to a seller. It's not unusual for some gentlemen to be new to the site or to be new to buying fetish items online.

Sometimes sellers need to be aware of this and help the buyer to decide what he wants and needs. This does not mean that sellers should push sales onto buyers or send them messages asking them to buy straight away without some communication first. But helping the buyer to find out whether the seller is able to provide what they need should happen through the conversation.

Value the Other Person’s Time.

Many sellers go to a lot of time and effort to create a full profile and shop items. It can be very disheartening when it seems as if a buyer has not taken the time to read the profile first before messaging the seller.

This can also be the case for buyers too.

Pay attention to what the person has written in their profile before reaching out to them.

Equally, if your question is already answered in the profile, it can be frustrating to have to answer it again.

Respect the other person’s time and energy.

Let’s find out more of what our community values in communication.

Seller and Buyer talkin on PD

Full testimonies from buyers and sellers.

We spoke with some buyers and sellers, and asked them some questions:

  1. How does a seller know whether a buyer is legitimate from their first message?
  2. What’s the best way for a buyer to approach a seller and vice versa?
  3. What do sellers value when a buyer messages them?
  4. How do buyers engage with sellers to get the best possible outcome for both?

Let's see their replies!



  1. A good first impression and a legitimate buyer usually means a polite opening message rather than “Sup?” or “I want nudes”. I am a lot more open and accommodating if they immediately seem like a decent person.
  2. I create lasting relationships with my returning customers however I let them start the follow up after the first purchase (other than messaging to check they received their item) I feel as if I come across as a pest otherwise!
  3. Overall, I value politeness. My favourite buyers are the real gentlemen that respect you as a person as opposed to thinking I am just a sex object.


  1. I feel I am quite intuitive and able to get a sense of the person immediately. It’s obvious in the questions they ask me ad in what they take the time to say to me. Especially if they mention something from my profile. Then I know they are reaching out to me because I caught their attention.
  2. That first initial message is important. It’s your first impression. I always appreciate when a buyer takes time to say hello, ask me how I'm doing and express what about me caught their eye and tell me if they are looking for something specific.
  3. I appreciate building a long-term relationship with my buyers. I always try to find a little time to focus on them.
  4. I value respect, politeness down to earth, vulnerability and compliments!


  1. I struggle to tell from the first few messages whether a buyer is legitimate or not, but there are signs to look out for.
  2. I try not to see my inbox messages as potential sales and focus instead on making a good connection with a buyer by injecting my personality into my replies.
  3. I love it when a buyer messages me first and asks how my day is going. There's nothing worse than receiving a one-word message.
  4. I really value buyers who go out of their way to make the most of Pantydeal. Set a profile photo, have a description of what you’re into, and engage with sellers.


  1. I usually know if a buyer does not really want to buy anything if they send me a short message like “hey”. The ones that really give themselves away as timewasters are crude in describing what they’d like to do or see.
  2. I want buyers to say hello and tell me a bit about what they’re looking for in a straightforward and polite manner. Throw in a little humour or generally intelligent chit-chat and it helps us both to connect and enjoy the transaction.
  3. I value that the buyer respects me, above all else!


  1. Generally, I find that men who want to jump straight to KIK without explaining what they are into are just wanting to waste my time and are not genuine buyers.
  2. I always approach a buyer with respect and friendliness. I always take the time to pay attention to their interests.
  3. I really value honesty. If someone isn’t interested in what I am offering, I would far rather know than feel that they are just chatting to me to be polite. I respect good manners. Sellers work really hard to provide buyers with the best service and treating women with respect goes a long way. Here and offline.


  1. I can usually tell right away if a buyer is legitimately interested in a purchase or not. However, some phoney buyers have become very good at tricking sellers into thinking they’re an honest buyer when they’re not. In terms of the first message, I find the most generic and bland messages are usually from unserious buyers. When I receive messages that are only one word (such as “hey”), or are demanding in nature, most of the time they are from fake buyers. The bottom line is, I trust my gut!
  2. The best way to approach a seller is to be clear and concise with their inquiry. Asking questions is perfectly fine, but over asking can come off as needy and illegitimate. Also, making unrealistic or excessive demands is rather off-putting to the content creator/seller. Sellers usually enjoy some degree of creative freedom.
  3. On the contrary, a buyer who is under-sharing their preferences can also be damaging to the seller/buyer correspondence; sellers don’t want to pull teeth to understand what a buyer wants! The perfect transaction is the result of effective communication from both sides.
  4. My favourite thing about this site, is that there are a lot of buyers who enjoy a deep connection as much as I do. When I develop a strong rapport with a buyer, my relationships are much more than transactions.


  1. I usually focus on the user profile. If he has positive reviews or has been on the site for a long time, most likely, he is a legitimate buyer. More often than not, dishonest users behave in the same way.
  2. I like to get to know the buyer better, asking them about their interests. I tell them a bit about me.
  3. I have several buyers I stay in contact with. Usually, we discuss lots of different things about our life, work, and the past. Sometimes we just have fun.
  4. I value decisiveness, generosity, and being pleasant.

But what about our buyers? What’s important to them?



  1. I value honesty and building trust.
  2. I don't think there's any one perfect way to engage with sellers. Everyone is different. Personally, I will almost always purchase from a lady who I can tell enjoys selling. Other than that, I will always be kind, respectful and clear about what I am asking for.
  3. I’m turned off by desperation, rudeness, and arrogance.
  4. How a lady expresses herself is important to me. I take great interest in those who are genuine and real, as opposed to those who might chose to play a role. I feel I have made meaningful connections with the ladies who have allowed me to learn a little about them.
  5. I find indulging in this fetish exciting, fun and liberating even after all these years. I'm also mindful that lady is sharing an intimate part of herself with me, so I think the least I can do is be very kind and respectful to her in return.


  1. I value the way sellers approach me when they first message me. I can tell when they first message me if there interested in me or just trying to make a quick sale.
  2. I tend to take it slow and build a bond before making a purchase. The bigger the bond or interest they show in me the more likely I am to be a repeat buyer.
  3. If the seller is pushy or demanding they will lose my interest right away.


  1. The thing I value most is the seller being genuine. I purchase mostly digital content and I come here to buy because getting to know a little about the person makes it a more personal experience.
  2. I do like to enjoy a bit of conversation beforehand. If a seller gives a sales pitch immediately, I'm probably not going to work with her.
  3. The biggest thing is just to be respectful.

So, there you have it.

I’m sure there was a lot of valuable advice for sellers and buyers alike in the advice from our Pantydeal members.

Overall, be kind, courteous and treat each other with respect and you’ll be well on your way to positive encounters that result in a happy outcome for both parties.

Wondering how to take a transaction to its conclusion. Read our guide on how to seal the deal.