First Time at a Sex Party? Read These 8 Top Tips

What is a sex party? Is it one giant orgy from start to finish? No! Real sex parties aren’t what you see in the movies. And you don’t have to be super confident or sexually experienced to attend one.

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Feeling nervous about going? We’ve gathered 8 top tips to make your first sex party a fun, safe, and sexy experience.

What is a sex party?

A sex party is a private or semi-private social event where guests are invited to come together and engage in sexual fun.

What is a sex party? They are spaces where attendants can be sexually open, talk about, and share sex, kinks, fetishes, and fantasies - and they won’t be judged or shamed for it. In the BDSM/kink community, sex parties are called “play parties”.

In general, people at sex parties are more friendly, open, tolerant, and welcoming than at regular parties.

It’s important to note that you don’t have to have sex at a sex party. Sexual play is just allowed and encouraged in a way it isn’t in other social places.

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Sex parties come in all shapes and sizes

Sure, there are sex parties out there that are intense and where the “having sex part” is more explicit, which could be intimidating to a newbie.

However, lots of sex parties are very chill environments where people spend most of the night socialising and chatting. And if people decide they want to have sex or do something kinky, they can. 

Sex Party Etiquette: 8 Tips For Having a Comfortable and Sexy First Time

1. Find the right party for you

How to find sex parties? Talk to people you know in local sex-positive communities, or search for adult parties in your location online or on social sites.

Not every sex party will suit your needs or vibe. Do your research. In big cities, you’ll probably find sex parties that attract certain crowds or are catered to different people. Like parties for LGBTQ+ folk, newcomers, people with specific fetishes, or in certain age groups.

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How to find a sex party you’ll love? Talk to people and read reviews and info online to find the one you’ll feel good at.

2. Go with someone you’re comfortable with

Whether that’s a sex-positive friend or someone you’re sexually involved with. You’ll feel more at ease in a new place with them to talk to.

Just make sure it’s someone who shares your open-minded values, and who you wouldn’t feel weird seeing you have sex…

3. Get clear on your boundaries and desires - and be respectful of others’ 

Why are you going to a sex party? Are there specific experiences you want to have or people you want to meet?

Think about activities or situations you’re comfortable and not comfortable with. Feel confident about saying no when you don’t want something, and being direct when you do.

Hi, I think you’re gorgeous. I’d love to kiss you. Can I?

Thank you, but I’m not interested in that tonight.

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You don’t have to hook up with anyone at a sex party, and if you’re not enjoying something you can stop it at any point (this is where safe words come in handy), take a break, or talk to the staff if someone is making you uncomfortable.

It’s essential to ask for consent before and throughout any kind of contact at a sex party, whether it’s kissing, touching, sex, or watching.

4. Read the event rules beforehand

Sex and play parties tend to have strict rules for the safety and wellbeing of their guests, with a special emphasis on respect and consent.

Read and follow these, they’re important. Also look for other event info, like times, dress codes, and whether you have to register or be a member to attend.

5. Don’t get wasted

This is basic sex party etiquette. Because informed consent is so important at a sex party, you shouldn’t be drunk or high. You might even get chucked out! A drink or two is okay to calm the nerves, but you need to be completely aware of your choices throughout the night.

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6. Bring your own safe and sexy tools

Most sex parties do provide the essentals: condoms, lube, dental dams, toys… But there’s no harm in bringing your own.

7. Don’t take photos or videos

Adult parties are private affairs. It’s not okay to take photos. In fact, at most events, it’s banned entirely. If you want to show off your sex party outfit, snap a shot beforehand.

8. Relax and tell people it’s your first time

As we said, people at sex parties are generally welcoming and friendly. Sex party etiquette is about honesty. You don’t have to pretend to be a sex party expert. If you’re nervous, just say so! You won’t be judged or rejected.

Tell the people you’re chatting to that it’s your first time and they’ll likely welcome you, show you around, and maybe even teach you a thing or two. Because what is a sex party? A friendly and open space to explore, meet new people, and have fun.

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Whether you’re packing your bags for your first adult party or still unsure about the whole thing, don’t worry about it. Do more research, get prepared, and when you’re ready, the right sex party will find you.

There are few more thrilling places to have sex than in a room full of other sexy people doing it. What is a sex party? It could be your new favorite way to spend an evening.