Why Watching Porn Together is Seriously Hot
Pornography is something most people watch (including women) - alone. What if we told you that this secret, late-night activity is something you could share with your partner? And that it could bring increased excitement and intimacy to your sexual and romantic life?
Pornography: the good, the bad, the ugly
Numerous studies have looked into the effect pornography use has on our health and well-being.
Extensive individual pornography use, especially at a young age, can negatively impact mental health, relationships, sex expectations, and gender relations.
However, watching porn alone can also be a great way to learn about desire, fantasy, and the body, and to overcome sexual shame.
Watching porn together with a partner, when done right, has a ton of benefits. In fact, one recent study found that couples who watched erotic videos together had higher sexual satisfaction and overall happier relationships than couples who didn’t.
If you’re smart about it, sharing your secret favourite movie can be a sexy way to utilise technology to get closer to your partner.
Closeness and communication
Watching porn together isn’t just great for your sex life. Being a couple who watches porn involves communicating and discussing your innermost desires and fantasies, overcoming judgment and stigma in a shared safe space, talking about boundaries and being vulnerable.
This is why most couples who watch porn together have a close bond. The communication required to do this forces you to open up and get to know yourself and your partner better.
Plus doing something that feels private taboo with your lover feels like sharing a naughty secret and revealing a side of yourself no one else sees. The result? Long-lasting connection.
Increased desire and better sex
Couples who watch porn together always say one thing: You won’t make it to the end of the video.
Why? Because you’ll both be unbelievably turned on.
Unsurprisingly, watching porn together with your lover (AKA, the person who inspires intense desire in you) is incredibly arousing. You get to experience the visual stimulation of the erotic movie, while at the same time having your lover beside you, touching you, and, if you’re lucky, doing the things you’re watching on screen.
The experience of novelty and the feeling of doing something that is usually taboo together creates a shared feeling of naughtiness that is particularly arousing.
This makes watching porn together a great way to boost libido and add a new spark to your sex life, especially if you’re in a longer-term relationship and the excitement is waning.
Aside from it being a guarantee for a hot session, watching porn together can benefit a couple’s sex life long term.
Sharing personal fantasies with pornography as a tool helps you learn what each other likes and gives you inspiration for things to explore together. And open communication about desires and boundaries lead to better sexual understanding and practice in the long run.
Become a couple who watches porn together: 6 essential tips
1. Approach it sensitively
Some people are sensitive about or have bad associations with porn due to past experiences.
If you don’t know your partner's stance on this, open up a discussion about sex and about porn in general before diving straight into asking them to watch something with you.
Of course, be prepared for them to say no, and don’t push them if they are uncomfortable with any part of it. But do bear in mind that they could change their mind on their own in the future.
2. Communicate and plan
If you’re both keen to try watching porn together, talk about why you want to do it and what you hope to get out of it.
Talk about specific desires to help the activity run smoothly and without any miscommunication.
Do you want to mutually masturbate to it together? Touch each other? Use toys? Do you want to end up having sex with each other? Do you want to keep the porn on when this starts?
3. Set boundaries
Porn and sex are incredibly personal, and the things that turn us on the most can be completely off-putting for someone else.
Before you switch on the laptop, agree to avoid any dynamics, categories, or acts that you don’t like. Agree on a safeword or action if someone starts to feel uncomfortable and you need to stop. Talk about whether you’ll tell other people what you’re doing together.
4. Keep it simple if you’re not sure where to start
Talk about whether you’ll scroll and find a suitable video together or whether you will both bring suggestions. Make sure you have a discussion beforehand about what you both like to watch so you can find a common interest.
Unless you know you’re both seriously kinky, it’s best to avoid starting with a hardcore video. If you’re not sure exactly what turns you both on, start with something simple like romantic partnered sex.
Later you can explore watching something a bit more adventurous that turns you both on, like BDSM, group sex, or pegging.
5. Pick the right time and place
Watching porn together for the first time can be nerve-wracking. You might feel shy or embarrassed, and that’s totally normal.
Make it more comfortable for you both by ensuring you have plenty of time, no distractions, that you're alone, and by being as relaxed and aroused as possible. Don’t try it on a day when one of you is stressed and exhausted, as someone could quickly feel shy and out of the mood.
6. Make sure your primary focus is each other
You will be watching a sexy movie, but don’t lose yourself in it (and leave your partner feeling neglected). Remember the experience is about you both connecting, not about the people on the screen.
Check in and pay attention to each other throughout the movie. You could talk about what you’re enjoying, kiss, touch, and cuddle before things get heated.
Like with any relationship situation, it’s important to be on the same page.
If you and your partner already communicate well, comfortably talk about sex, and have similar views on pornography and similar porn habits, then trying this new activity will be simple.
If you’ve dipped your toe into being a couple watching porn and you like it, you can always try reading an erotic story or listening to audio porn together. The possibilities are endless!
