How To Prepare For Anal Sex: 10 Questions You’re Too Shy To Ask

Anal. For some, it’s the Holy (*cough* holey) Grail of bedroom fun. For others, it’s simply anxiety-provoking. Isn’t it painful? Isn’t it sinful? What if I suddenly need to, you know, go…?

Relax. All you need is a little guidance. And that’s why we’re here.

If you’re curious about how to prepare for anal sex, how to have first-time anal sex, or just wondering what the fuss is all about, read on. We’ve rounded up your most-asked-anal-sex-questions and found the answers - so you can save your blushes.

What is anal sex?

Anal sex is traditionally viewed as penis-in-anus intercourse. But this is a heterosexual view, and anal sex is now seen as any kind of sex where the butt is penetrated for the purpose of sexual pleasure. So, yes, you can have anal sex with a dildo or another type of toy.

Why do straight guys seem to be obsessed with anal sex?

And isn’t it, like, bad?

There is an (outdated) perception that anal sex is sinful, that every straight man is obsessed with it, and that straight women do it only on special occasions and as a gift to their man.

Many religions viewed anal sex as sinful because it is sex for pleasure alone - not reproduction. Whilst there is nothing sinful or bad about anal sex, some people still feel the influence of this view today.

Woman butt pants sexy

Not all straight men love the idea of anal sex, but many do. And, perhaps surprisingly, a lot of women do as well. There are a load of reasons why:

  • There is no chance of pregnancy *high-five*!
  • In terms of intercourse, anal sex is something new and fun to try. Men typically crave sexual variety more than women.
  • The anus tends to be a tighter hole than the vagina, making for extra sensation (for everyone involved)
  • Anal sex can feel extra exciting and naughty simply because it's taboo, especially for those who get a kick out of breaking the rules.
  • Because butts are gorgeous!

Do women enjoy anal sex? How does it compare with vaginal sex?

Yes, lots of women enjoy anal sex. But as with any sexual activity, enjoyment totally depends on personal taste, your partner, technique, preparation, position, and other factors.

Some women find first-time anal sex uncomfortable, and that’s okay. For other women, anal sex is better than vaginal sex. You can definitely enjoy it if you go about it the right way, which is why it’s important to know how to prepare for anal sex.

The anal opening and area just inside the butt are erogenous zones that are full of nerve endings. This, as well as a satisfying feeling of fullness, is really pleasurable. With enough lube, anal sex can feel amazing, even without any other stimulation.

Ever heard of the A-spot? When you get anal sex right, it can stimulate the highly charged pleasure spot along the vaginal wall - basically, the penis or dildo can indirectly stimulate parts of the vagina, and cause amazing feelings (even orgasm). For most women or people with vaginas, anal sex feels the most pleasurable when it is combined with stimulation in the usual places, like the clitoris.

Can I orgasm from anal sex?

For women or anyone with a vagina (and no prostate in the butt), anal orgasms are few and far between. Most find they have an anal orgasm through a combination of body parts being stimulated, not from the butt alone.

However, it is possible for women to orgasm from anal sex. Anal sex can stimulate parts of the vagina that can lead to orgasm. And never forget those lucky few who can climax from nipple play or brain power alone! So why not anal?

Female couple romantic laughing

Heard of the male G-spot (otherwise known as the P-spot)? No? Anal sex is your route to enlightenment. For men or anyone with an anal prostate, anal sex can result in powerful orgasms.

This is because the prostate, an intensely pleasurable gland inside the anal canal, lies about 2 inches inside the rectum, and is roused by anal sex. Lots of men say anal orgasms are more powerful and longer-lasting than genital orgasms.

Is anal sex painful?

And how to have anal sex without pain? If you’re thinking about having first-time anal sex and you’re the one being penetrated, you’ve likely heard enough anal horror stories to make pain a factor in your decision - but these horror stories result from people not knowing how to prepare for anal sex.

Anal sex can be painful, but it shouldn’t be. As all anal-lovers know, there are a few things that need to be done to make sure it isn’t painful.

  • Go slow. If it’s your first-time anal sex session, anal will be a new sensation, and it can be painful if you’re partner goes too fast or too hard. Talk to your partner first, and make sure they move very slowly, holding at the end of each thrust, and listen to your responses.
  • Lube up! The anus isn’t naturally lubricating like the vagina, so lube is very important for successful anal sex. Apply lots of it at the start and don’t forget to reapply in the heat of the moment if you feel any discomfort.
  • Foreplay and other erotic stimulation. Anal sex (like any other penetrative sex) feels best when accompanied by other stimulation when pleasurable sensations work together and enhance each other.

Seriously though, what about poo?!

We’re all secretly thinking this, but relax. Relax.

Man woman scared car

Firstly, feces are actually storied in the upper bowels, which is separate from the anal canal (the area that is reached by anal sex with a penis or penis length dildo). So it’s very unlikely that any poop will be present during or after anal sex.

Nonetheless, there are precautions anal-lovers take to make sure anal sex is as poop-free as possible.


Lots of people have heard of with douching using an enema when it comes to how to prepare for anal sex. Douching involves inserting liquid into the lower bowel via a nozzle inserted into the butt, which uses the water to empty the butt’s contents into the toilet, cleaning it. Douching is not essential before anal sex, but it is advised. For some people, cleaning the area around the butt in the shower is enough.

Go to the bathroom 30 to 60 minutes before.

If you can, try to prepare for anal sex by not eating foods that might irritate your stomach (alcohol, caffeine, lentils) before anal sex to avoid the uncomfortable feeling of needing a number 2.

Shit happens!

How to prepare for anal sex? Quiet down those anxieties. If you’re with a partner you’re comfortable with, a bit of poo is no problem. It’s not gross. You can just have a laugh about it, hop in the shower, and finish off there. Problem solved.

How to prepare for anal sex? What to do before going down under.

Before diving straight into anal intercourse with a dildo or penis, play around first.


Discuss it with your partner first to make sure you’re both really up for anal and one of you isn’t compromising. Talk about your worries and emphasize the importance of starting slow.


For first-time anal sex, you can’t dive straight in - you need to get the butt used to having something in it. And successful anal sex can only happen when you (and your butt) are relaxed. Start by introducing a finger during other sexual play.

Try masturbating with a finger or toy in your butt. Have your partner slowly (think: tantric levels of slow) insert and remove a finger or sex toy, before going bigger.

Male couple embracing romantic

Is anal sex safe?

One notorious anal sex plus is that you can’t get pregnant. Score! But you can still get STIs, so you should always use a condom unless you are with a monogamous partner you’re sure is STI free.

Don’t double-dip.

Because the rectum is high in different bacterias, it is important not to go from the penetration of the anus to penetration of the vagina without changing the condom, as this can cause a UTI or other vaginal health issues.

Also, make sure you don’t insert anything in your butt that doesn’t have a flared base or isn’t attached to anything (like a human body). Because, sadly, things inserted into the anus can get stuck inside your body, making for an awkward trip to the doctor.

What are the best anal sex positions?

Doggy is the classic anal sex position, but there are loads of other ways to enjoy it.

Spooning is good for first-time anal because it keeps the movement to a minimum and lets you communicate with each other.

Missionary is another good one if you’re looking to enjoy anal but keep the intimacy (and eye contact).

Couple spooning romantic

What on earth is a butt plug?

And what other anal sex toys are out there?

A butt plug is what it sounds like: it’s a small sex toy that plugs into your butt, with the flared edge resting outside your butt, and stays there throughout a sexy session. It increases other sensations and gives a satisfying sense of fullness.

Anal beads are also popular in anal play. They are small beads on a string that are designed to create a sensation when they are moved in and out of the butt.

There are plenty more toys and some specifically for couples. The Sharevibe is a double-ended dildo suitable for vaginal and anal play, which allows couples to enjoy being penetrated at the same time.

Sex toys bag

Remember when you didn’t know how to prepare for anal sex? Look at you now. You’re an anal master.

And when you’re ready to explore further, we hear vibrating toys add a whole new level to butt stuff.

Now that’s something we can get behind.