15 Hot Lesbian Sex Tips To Commit To Memory

Is it your first time having queer sex? Are you wondering how to have lesbian sex or just wanting to know how to rock her world even more?

Lesbian sex is often misunderstood or fetishized, especially in mainstream porn. Sure, it can be kinky and naughty, but it can also be sensual, intimate, and messy - just like any other kind of sex.

Couple passionately kissing in the bath

What is lesbian sex?

Lesbian sex refers to sex between two women. The term is actually a misnomer because lesbian sex doesn’t just describe sex between lesbians.

It can be sex between any people who identify as female. And they don’t have to be lesbians. They could be bisexual, pansexual, queer, fluid, heterosexual…

Are you curious about how to have lesbian sex and what lesbian sex tips will make for an unforgettable encounter? Read on.

15 Essential Lesbian Sex Tips for First-timers

1. Ask her what she wants…

Asking sexy questions is a simple but neglected way to have exceptional sex. Asking her what she likes while you’re flirting in the cab home is a hot form of foreplay and a good way to get familiar with her sexual likes and dislikes.

Ask about fantasies, what her body enjoys, how she likes to be touched, and how she likes to feel while in bed with someone - this can be in relation to her gender identity or orientation, or just a preference or kink.

2. …And show her what you want

Share the same things with her! And when you’re finally getting down to it, direct her attention and movements with your voice and with physical signals. She’ll follow your cues.

Woman poses with legs up on bed in lingerie

3. It’s not all about oral sex, but it's a classic for a reason

Cunnilingus is popular among vulva-owners for a reason. Essential lesbian sex tips must include some cunnilingus tips. Use your whole mouth to kiss, suck, and lick, as well as your tongue to focus on the sensitive area around her clit.

Try different motions, like circling, a figure of 8, or flicking on her hot spot. When she’s ready for it, edge your tongue inside her, or start using your fingers.

4. Discover the wonders of toys

Toys are an amazing way to take sexual pleasure to an exciting new level. And there are so many to choose from!

Bullet vibrators, wands, dildos, rabbits, strap-ons, anal plugs… the list goes on. How to have lesbian sex? Don’t limit yourself.

5. If you want to use a strap-on, research and practice first

How does lesbian sex work?

Strap-ons can be tricky to figure out if it’s you’re new to them. Firstly, using a strap-on isn’t necessary. You can have unforgettable lesbian sex without using a dildo for penetration at all.

Black dildo with red harness

A strap-on, which is made of a dildo and a harness that you wear around your pelvis, can be a fun way to emulate sex with a penis. But the sensation of thrusting into your partner can take some getting used to, so take it slow and practice wearing it on your own first.

6. Don’t jump the gun - or ignore her erogenous zones

How to have lesbian sex that will leave you glowing for days? Exploring erogenous zones can make sexual foreplay spine-tinglingly good. Use your mouth and hands to explore her where she likes: the nape of the neck, stomach, inner thighs, scalp, inner wrists, fingertips…

7. Give her breasts the attention they deserve

Find out if she likes breast play, and if so, how much. Many women love their breasts being massaged and nipples being kissed, sucked, or even squeezed.

8. Get to know her anatomy - and yours

Learn about female sexual anatomy, then take a hand mirror and look at yourself. You’ll be amazed! This lesbian sex tip can help you with your own pleasure, too.

Try to learn where everything is: the clitoris, labia majora, labia minora, perineum, anus, g-spot… and you’ll be better equipped to map out your own and your lover’s pleasure.

Papaya halves vulva concept

9. Take care of your nails

Nail maintenance is essential for any type of sex, but especially lesbian sex. Make sure your nails are trimmed and clean. Long or sharp nails can cause pain or injury if your fingers are going anywhere intimate.

10. Get familiar with her G-spot

The female G-spot is a small area inside the vaginal canal that, when stroked, can give intense pleasure. Even orgasm! Where is it?

With your fingers inside her, curl your fingers (or finger) into a hook shape and apply pressure to the upper edge of her vagina - the belly button side.

11. Practice safe sex

Yes, lesbian sex still needs to be practiced safely. Even if neither of you has a penis, it is still possible to get an STI, bacterial vaginosis, or HPV from lesbian sex.

Use effective barrier methods like dental dams for oral sex, condoms for penetration with a dildo, and latex gloves or finger cots for fingering.

12. Know that varying wetness is normal

Anyone with a vulva with has a different natural wetness level or speed at which they “get wet”. If she doesn’t seem wet, it doesn’t mean she isn’t turned on or enjoying herself.

If she has told you this is normal for her, grab some lube and keep going.

Close up female lips on pink lollipop

13. Don’t be shocked if she squirts

Some women squirt or ejaculate when they orgasm. If you’ve never seen it before, you might be surprised by the amount of liquid that comes out. But don’t be! It’s completely normal and definitely a good thing.

14. And don’t be surprised if scissoring isn’t successful the first time

How does lesbian sex work? It’s about a lot more than rubbing your bodies together. Despite scissoring being seen as the quintessential lesbian sex position, it’s more difficult than meets the eye.

Successful scissoring can require your anatomies to align, your body shapes and weights to fit, and your position and rhythm to be just right. However, if you can get it right, the clit-to-clit contact can be immensely pleasurable.

15. Don’t rush for an orgasm, or be put off if it doesn’t happen

A top lesbian sex tip? Sex isn’t about having an orgasm, and many people with vulvas struggle or take a long time to orgasm, especially with a new partner.

But if you really want to get her there? Ask her to show you how she uses her favorite toy on herself. She’ll thank you!

Smiling couple lying on grass

Even if you’ve memorized every single one of these lesbian sex tips, you won’t have relaxed and satisfying sex if you’re worried too much about “getting it right”.

The best sex is creative, intuitive, and connected. Listen to your lover’s words, follow their physical responses, trust your intuition and use all the tools at your disposal.